Couple of things.   Oops.!  Make that three.  Well damn, now it’s four.  It’s all nuts, all this  chaos Trump keeps inflicting on us. My news feed is basically a never ending “Breaking News” chyron streaming the mind-numbing shit Trump did in the last few hours. Here’s a small sampling  of  Trump antics that occured in just the past coupe weeks.  Some days I have to employ unconventional methods to keep my brain from vaporizing.

Let’s start off with Trump’s unabashed signal that he has no qualms about resurrecting memories of the absolute worst thing that will be associated with his presidency- Jan 6.  Trump let it be known on Jan 28 this year that once again he’s ready to bitch slap the nation with voter fraud nonesense.  I guess we should thank him for letting us all know way earlier than the last time that he plans on screwing with the election.  He wasn’t specific about that in 2020 till about four months out.  We have a nine month’s heads up for this year’s mid-terms.  So, thanks, I guess?  His style is bold, you have to admit.  Heisting all the 2020 ballots from the Fulton County Election facility in Georgia clearly makes a defined statement.  Still, it seems kind of surreal and deja vu-ish.  It’s not a dream, is it?  Maybe you should pinch me.

Wait, what?  I know extortion is a favorite go to of Trump when he desperately wants something, but  going full Corleone on the Senate Minority Leader ? It really is difficult to keep up, but just in case you are not aware, Trump says he’ll unfreeze billions in funding for a key infrastructure project in New York  in exchange for Schumer’s support in renaming New York’s Penn Station and Washington’s Dulles International Airport after him.  No kidding.  Jesus Christ when will he quit with all the brand blasting business?  It’s like watching the  frenzied urine marking by an incontinent dog.  Nevermind he’s not supposed to have control over that infrasturcture money in the first place.  That’s congress’s deal.  How did that all go down antway?  Well crapp how could I forget?  For reasons of sheer cowardness, groveling on their knees and sniffing Trump’s ass is far easier and preferable for Republicans than standing tall and breathing the fresh air of integrity.  What is wrong with me.  Pinching won’t work here.  I need a brain re-set. Please.  Take that 40,000 word dictionary and clobber me in the head with it.

WTF?!  Are you kidding me?  Now Trump is suing himself for 10 billion dollars?  Yes, that is correct.  That’s the crazy part.  The realy shitty part is our tax money will be supplying the pay out.  He is suing the IRS for ten billion over the leak of his tax information, which he claims cost him reputational and financial harm.  Reputational?  Seriously?  Not sure how badly you can ding the reputation of a convicted fraudster and sexual preditor who runs the government like he is Al Capone.  And come on!  A net worth of 7.5 billion isn’t enough?   Maybe what’s bothering him is his grifting and extortion skills only netted him 1.5 billion so far in his second term.  Whatever his ultimate finacial goal is he can definitely cover a lot of distance with a 10 billion dollar chunk play with treasury department dollars.   And hey, I didn’t vote for him.  He shouldn’t get any of my tax money.  This burden is on MAGA  world, and from what I understand they are ever jubilant to hand over extra portions of their hard earned cash to any cause that pleases their lord.  Is it appropriate for a sitting president to sue his own administration?  You tell me.  Seems Trump figures it’s a good bet though, since the caretaker of the money coming out of the Treasurey Department is a favorite sycophant, Scott Bessent.  And remember when Trump said he had no problem with revealing his tax returns?  No problem, said Tump, as soon as the IRS finishes their audit, said Trump, a  dozen times, over two years, said Trump, until we all conveniently forgot about the matter.  My head hurts.  Might as well manage that pain by distracting it with another. Distract! Deny, Delay, Disract!  Where have I heard that before?  Oh, ya. Damn!  See that Titleist GT1 driver over there?  Tee up my balls and take a big swing.

I said I’d give you four, but now I hurt all over so I will make this quick.  Bitcoin is in free fall.  Trump and family are ass deep in it, and he is all in on intertwining  U.S. dollars in some kind of federal stablecoin shit, setting up our economy to be the major player in the crypto market.  Somehow the visualization of  someone like Eric Trump being in charge of regulating all things crypto, a currency favored by drug dealers and kidnappers of 84 year old grandmothers with significant health issues, seems like a bad idea.  Maybe it’s just me.

So far my anger management routine using self inflicted corporal punishment seems to be keeping my perception of reality level, but three more years?  Will I run out of body parts to absorb the offenses?

Well, son of a bitch!  Number five.  Now that Trump says he’s sort of the president of Venezuela and in charge of that country’s oil profits, he’s strategically created  off shore storage in Qatar for all that dough and of course knows we will surely understand how he is the most qualified person to oversee its distribution.  You’re up, left pinky finger-nail.

Noooo! BREAKING NEWS! TRUMP POSTED MEMES OF BARACK AND MICHELLE OBAMA AS APES.  Mother f***!!  OK.  I’m selling my golf clubs.  Don’t think I can put myself through that one again.