Monthly Archives: May 2019

Congress Triples President Trump’s Golfing Budget

Informed that President Trump would be filling his time playing golf now that he has temporarily postponed his participation in all governing responsibility, Washington legislators  quickly responded by initiating a special session of congress  in order to fund personal presidential expenses.   Expenses forTrump’s golfing excursions presently exceed 100 million dollars, and Senate Finance Committee Chairman  Chuck Grassley is confident the taxpayers are more than willing to provide an addition two hundred million in order to make America great again.

Asked how long the president might be lingering on the links, Senator Lindsey Graham said as long as it takes for the president to recover from Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s hurtful comments.  The senator also mentioned that a lengthily tour of all his golf courses and a review of  the fortune he has amassed that somehow escapes emoluments violations will be just the ticket to reset his governing  attention.

Reporters rushed to Speaker Pelosi to hear what she had to say about the the unexpected budgetary developments.  “I will be praying that the president can find the resolve and courage to quit cheating on the golf course,” was her only comment.  And with it, is it is expected the president will be playing golf at least till the end of the year.

 

AG Barr Uses Some Words to Defend His Interpretation of Mueller Admonishment Letters

Appearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee Wednesday, Attorney General William Barr deftly deflected questions Democratic Senators had about his understanding of the Mueller investigation.  New concerns about how the attorney general has handled the report have surfaced with the revelation that Robert Mueller sent Barr two letters indicating that the AG has presented a distorted view of the report’s findings.  But during the proceedings, the Democrats were a bit flummoxed and seemed to be caught off guard by the AG’s  clever use of abstract thought and personal adaptation of the meaning of words commonly used in the English language.

In contrast to the Democratic senators who one after another became confused by Barr’s baffling explanations,  Republican senators were able to communicate with the attorney general with relative ease.  By choosing topics of discussion that had nothing to do with the Mueller report, like anything involving President Obama or Hillary Clinton, the Republicans consistently forged a common dialog with Barr.

“Democrats just don’t get it,” said one Republican senator after the hearings.  “If you want to understand a man like the attorney general, you have to talk about something he likes to talk about. You can’t go wrong if you  bring up Hillary. They need to start thinking  outside the box!.”  The senator suggested the Democrats would be better served in the future if they ask the AG about his favorite restaurants or possibly persuade him to give a critique of a  movie he recently enjoyed.

While engaged in non-answering senatorial questions, AG Barr was given to conducting lessons in sentence syntax arrangement and, as seen here, enumerating possibilities of synonyms for a particular word like “suggest”