After carefull consideration of public interest and probability data, the prediction market platform Polymarket has registered an over/under bet reflecting the number of times President Trump will say a peace deal is close to being finalized before an actual deal is struck.  Taking into account the 38 times Trump has already made the statement, Polymarket has established the nember at  525.

Marvin Twillwater, a polymarket consultant, said at first he thought that number was a bit high, but after analyzing  his own data he was satisfied Polymarket knew it’s stuff.  “This is after all the TACO president, and all things considered the figure seems about right.  Iran has his balls in a vice. Knowing the American public has little tolerance for committing ground troops,  he’ll just keep working his smoke and mirrors act and as long as he can keep stringing along a gullible stock market he’ll keep it up.  Saving face is way more important to him than worrying about screwing over three hundred million American citizens by continuing the conflict..  His shit-show war will probably be a defining moment of his legacy, and he has on his hands a hopeless struggle to try and polish the turd, so to speak.”

Twillwater said that in the end we will all get screwed, and that Trump’s only real strategy has been to dazzle with fancy footwork.  “While you’re  watching him shuffle and dodge another 500 times, why not take a shot at some Polymarket cash. The anticipation of the eventual outcome might make the frustrating drudgery of  Trump’s indecision at least tolerable.”

It has emerged that Senator Lindsey Graham has introduced a bill initiating funding for a new building that will be dedicated to one of President Trump’s passions- observing sweaty,  scantilly clothed men inflict serious physical injury in ways normally unimaginable.   Alluding to the UFC arena currently being erected on the south lawn of the White House as part of the nation’s upcoming  250th anniversary celebration, Graham suggested tax dollars could be saved by incorporating it into an expansive building that could be built at the conclusion of the anniversary festivities.

Graham mentioned how unfair the president  felt it was for a federal judge to insist the Trump name be removed from the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.  “The president is justifiably upset,” Graham said.  “If there is one thing he knows it’s art. That judge is incompetent and obviously some kind of Marxist.  You get every cabinet member in an enclosed room with the president  and I can guarantee you absolutely every one of them will tell him that  his taste in art is impecable, that no one knows art like he does, no matter what kind of art we’re talking about.   So creating his own center for the martial arts would be another notch on the grip of  his revenge pistol.  It’s simply the right thing to do.”

White House aide Dusty Smertz said the president was super charged about the idea, and that he was already carrying around gigantic posterboard renderings of the project.  When asked if construction would be completed before Trump’s term ended, Smertz said that was not a concern.  “The president feels this art form is underappreciated.  The Donald J. Trump Center for the Martial Arts will be a building for everyone to enjoy.  You’ve seen how the president admires the human male form.  Just a couple  weeks ago during his commencement speech at the Coast Guard Academy,  he invited the fitness champion of the the graduates to come up on the stage so he could feel his muscles.  The president loves handsome men, especially the brawny ones and as we know when he spots one he can’t resist tossing him a compliment.  The Donald J. Trump Center for the Martial Arts will be a place for all Americans to admire the exhibitions of  the sculpted male form perform  on a variety of competitive artistic stages.”

Since the president is known for promoting the World Wrestling Federation and the Ultimate Fighting Championship,  Smertz was asked if practitioners of more traditional defensive martial arts disciplines like karate and tai chi would be included in the Trump Center.  He replied that as long as they took their shirts off they would be more than welcome.

If you’re like me you get texts and emails warning you to be ever vigilant about scams.  Your bank, your cell phone service provider, your credit card company, internet provider, you name it.  Your wife, who  clicked on a phishy party invite that  sent out bogus party invites to all of her email contacts inviting them to a party at our house, is acutely aware.  The party is on the 16th.  If you show up I have some stale potato chips and a box of crackers but don’t expect any booze.  You’ll have to leave by 9:30pm.  I have a ridgid bedtime routine.

Now, here is my personal scam warning.  Anytime you find yourself staring at an advertisement, or a narrative with promotional details of any kind with the name “Trump” attached to it, you should avoid it like it was a habitat of hantavirus infected rats.  Case in point- the cell phones the Trump boys were promoting last summer.*  In June Don Jr. and Eric launched the Trump smartphone, “proudly designed and built in the U.S.,” gold plated, of course. and was priced at $500. To ensure delivery, the web site advised you to send the boys $100 as a pre-order deposit.

A cursory examination of the fine print revealed a disclaimer that stated the Trump’s involvement with the phone is strickly its branding only and they had nothing to do with the development, manufacture or anything related to it.  Within a couple weeks of the initial offer, the claim “Made in America” was removed from its description and replaced with “designed with American values in mind.”

The phones have never been shipped.  Last month Trump Moble updated its terms to say the $100 was not a deposit for the pre-order but “a conditional opportunity if Trump Mobile later elects, in its sole discretion, to offer the Device for sale.”

There’s more to the restrictions and warnings included in the update, not to mention the massive conflict of interest involved between the Trump’s and the federal agencies that control the approval for the business’s activities.

Of course there are plenty of pissed off people that paid $100 for a phantom phone.  But come on!  Scamming is what the Trump family is famous for-from the bogus Trump University to skimmiing practically everything from his so called charity, the Trump Foundation.  By now people should know better.  People who voted for him have to know at least something of his nafarious businesss activities, and the father has instructed the boys well in seeking mutual self indulgent fortune. My guess is Trump’s supporters must feel a great scam artist makes a great president.

Now after much chest thumping bluster and ignorance of the geopolitical world, he has plunged the nation into an ill conceived conflict with Iran.  He keeps saying we are winning when in fact that is another of his scams.  He has let a third rate country wedge him into a corner that he is flailing to get out of.  And the U.S. taxpayers have thus been scammed into paying for his war.  It’s infuriating.  And embarassing.  Because of Trump’s hubris nothing is moving through the Strait of Hormuz. That in turn affects most of the other countries on the planet in one way or another, so they are also paying a price,  and they had nothing to do with his elecition.  We did that.  Ya.  It’s fucking embarassing.

When asked by a reporter to what extent Americans’ financial situation is motivating him to make a deal with Iran, he replied:

“Not even a little bit. The only thing that matters when I’m talking about Iran—they can’t have a nuclear weapon. I don’t think about Americans’ financial situation. I don’t think about anybody. I think about one thing—we cannot let Iran have a nuclear weapon. That’s all.”

The highlighted sentences are of course revealing.  But his general intransigence and hubris, right now narrowly focused on Iran’s nuclear capability, is how we got in this mess in the first place.  He basically is saying Iran has to give up its nuclear material.  At this point that will almost assuredly require boots on the ground.  It’s one of the many things he should have thought of before starting his “excursion.”

Getting back to the highlighted text,  nothing says “I could not give a shit about the Americans’ financial situation” like suing himself for 10 billion dollars.  He is suing the IRS for damages he claims occured when a contractor released his tax returns in his first term.  Thus Trump is the plaintiff and he also runs the agency that is the defendant.  He has figured out the perfect scam.  He can hardly loose.  That’s taxpayer money he’s after in the IRS and 10 billion would  wipe out 80 percent of its budget. And double his current wealth.  Nevermind that during his 2016 campaign he said he had no problem releasing his tax returns as soon as the IRS completed its audit.  Once he secured the presidency he asserted since he won the election no one must have really wanted to see the documents anyway.  How does this guy maintain his grip on his base?  He encapsulates everything MAGA supposedly abhors about the government.  He’s a rich elitist lining his pockets and those of his cronies and doing diddly for the general public.  He has single handedly made the lives of the non privileged more expensive by immersing us into his ridiculous war, something he promised his supporters he would never do.  He is and has always been a con man dazzling with smoke and mirrors.

Trump the scam artist.  No one does it better.

*Most of the information about the Trump boys smartphone adventure I gleaned from the Substack of Heather Cox Richardson.  She’s amazing.

It has emerged that Maria Corina Machado, the Venezualan opposition leader who is the 2025 recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, has proposed an unusual offering regarding her award.  Ms. Machado, who has been living in hiding for nearly a year because of politial death threats, will not attend the upcoming  award ceremony due to the ongoing security issues.  However, if all parties agree, she said she is willing to confer the award to President Trump on the condition that he go into hiding for the rest of his life.  In a statement today Nobel Institute Director Kristian Berg Harpviken said after much consideration he would approve the unconventional proposition.  “I honestly believe that the majority of our world leaders, and frankly all of humanity, feels that the president most definitely deserves to receive the award if he would step away from every aspect of governing and public life for the remainder of his time on earth.  It seems difficult to argue that at the present time there could be any comparable contribution to the social order by any other person on the planet that would  have such a positve impact according peace throughout the world.”  Mr Harpviken said as yet there has been no response from President Trump, but in light of the president’s covetous attraction to the award he is certain he is earnestly considering the offer.

Recent confrontations  with proding female legacy reporters have caught the president a bit flat footed.  Usually quick to come up with an insulting nickname for the gals that dare criticize him, this attribute failed to engage during his meeting with Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Salman. When ABC reporter Mary Bruce peppered him with questions about his conflict of interest dealings with Saudi Arabia, and the Crown Prince’s involvement in the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi, Trump characteristically went on a rant but noticeably did not interject a sophomoric nickname for Ms. Bruce.  He did utilize his fall back move,  threatening to revoke the broadcasting license of ABC television.  But the whole episode seemed to fall flat without Trump’s intemperate middle school name calling.

Just a few days before when a female reporter on Air Force One started to ask him about the Epstein files, Trump let it be known he would have none of it.  In true Trumpian fashion, he yelled  “quiet piggy,”  sending a clear message to all lowly female reporters none should trifle with the most powerful man in the world.

Feeling he might have lost his touch after the Bruce confrontation, he thought he needed to step up his game. Since the “piggy” slur had landed so well with MAGA members,  Steven Miller suggested a zoo visit might be just the ticket.  He thought observing animals in their synthetic environments would offer inspiration, and of course it would be a relaxing divergence from the rigors of the golf course.

All indications are the trip was a resounding success.  The elephants, hippos and apes were mentally bookmarked for quick reference when a quick physically degrading insult should be required in the future.  The childrens petting zoo harbored obvious possibilities .  Since Trump is not inclined to duplicate nickname creations, little time was spent observing the two pigs (i.e. “piggy”) or shetland pony (i.e. “horseface'”).  But Trump felt the donkey, cow and goat had significant potiential and were introspectively catalogued.

To complete a very gratifying day, the president instructed VP Vance and Secretary Rubio to scour the enclosed pen for retrievable animal excrement and engage in a competive game of “dodge scat”.  After a few minutes of hillarious enjoyment, the president lost interest, and he and Steve Miller headed for the exit, notifying Vance and Rubio they would have to find their own return  transportation.

By way of clarifying the new anti vaccination information appearing on the the government’s CDC website, it now posts bloodletting as the primary method health care professionals should consider when presented with a patient with viral or bacterial infections.  The new information was added on instructions from Health and Human Services secretary Robert Kennedy.  Kennedy, who basically rejects modern germ theory and believes the human immune system will take care of itself with healthy living and good nutrition, believes bloodletting has gotten a bad rap.   “If it was good enough for George Washington, it’s damn well good enough for the rest of us,” he has often stated.

In related CDC news, Kennedy has informed that department that the new prefered protocol for treating health conditions that present with  moderate or temperate symptoms will be leech therapy.