Monthly Archives: July 2017

Our Most Supreme Scout Master Has Cerebral Melt-Down

Is this guy for real?  Every time I think Trump can not possibly be any more shallow, he finds another way to drain the pond.  This son of a bitch is absolutely nuts.  Seriously.  There is something wrong with a person who is so completely absorbed with himself.  And nothing gives him a boner like a crowd of cooperative people, his most recent mark being a huge gathering of teen age boy scouts attending a Jamboree.   Of course none of them can even vote, but that didn’t stop our megalomaniacal president  from turning the event into one of his ego-stroking campaign orgies.  I think he was even surprised by the chorus of jeers and cheers he got whenever he pulled something from his bag of trigger words and phrases.  It is truly a sad day in America when the president of the United States thinks manipulating a group of pubescent boys into a chanting frenzy by denigrating a predecessor is setting an appropriate example of patriotism.  It’s the Boy Scouts of America!  They are supposed to be out there promoting God, country, and civic duty, but president shit-for-brains just could not resist the temptation to provoke the impressionable group into giving him one of his adulatory orgasms and in the process humiliate them and the entire organization.  The man is absolute pond-scum.  And that also goes for the ass-kissing members of his cabinet standing right behind him and encouraging him with their shit-eating grins.

I was a boy scout, loved being a part of it and learned a lot from participating.  Fortunately I was never subjected to any maniacal  rantings by a flakey adult.  The organization has a law.  It begins “A scout is:” and after that is just twelve words. Here they are: Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, reverent.  It might be smart if the scout leaders of each troop in attendance do some recon when they get home and suggest the youngsters do their best to purge their brains of the self-angrandizing and incendiary rhetoric uttered by Trump at this Jamboree.  It should be easy to make their point.  Do you see any of these attributes in Donald Trump?  Maybe “clean,” but only because he is a paranoid germaphobe.  If you could be prosecuted for violating the Boy Scout Law, Trump would get a life sentence in a federal prison.

I wonder what is upcoming on the Trump quasi campaign trail?  If he sees a huge gathering of migratory geese resting along a river bank while he is flying in Air Force One, he’s likely to instruct the pilot to land so he can go tell his feathered friends what a smashing victory he had in Wisconsin.  I heard there is a national Girl Scout conference scheduled in a few months, and boy would he love to weasel in a speaking invite there.  Mom’s, if you have even the slightest inclination that might happen, and any knowledge at all of previous Trump behavior towards young women,  you might want to consider tagging along on this one.  Of course you must be ever vigilant lest you be grabbed yourself.

 

 

On Putin and Parenting

Well here we go again.  From all appearances it seems Donald Trump Jr just pulled off the bone-head move of the political decade and once again the resulting stink from a disjointed White House has all of us anti-Trumpers giddy with anticipation.  Surely this is finally going to motivate any  principled Republican in congress to admit enough is enough.  But I’ve learned not to get my hopes up.  In fact, hang onto your hats folks because on the horizon will be some of the most creatively entertaining political spin Conway, Spicer, and Huckabee Sanders have ever produced.  And remarkably our elected sycophants will continue to enable a man who has no business in the Oval Office.

Ooopsie!

Politics has become so polarized in this country this is where we have landed.  Wave after wave of alarming events pound the shoreline of our consciousness until rock solid principles of democracy and decency are pulverized into grains of indifference.  Instead of considering Junior’s behavior disturbing, defenders are treating it as if it was little more than a glass of spilled milk.  Just a simple mistake by a neophyte.  “Most people would take that meeting” says the President of the United States.

What in the hell have we become?  Put the idiocy and collusion surrounding this episode aside for a moment and just look at the computer hacking aspects.   What keeps getting lost every time one of these mind-bending stories surfaces is the fact there was Russian interference in our election process.  Geezuz H the country has been attacked and this administration is perfectly happy doing nothing about it.  The internet corruption that went on here is not much less frightening than the danger posed by the nut job in North Korea.  You could say what Russia managed to get away with so far is cyber sniper fire.  Besides fomenting fake stories on the internet, they hacked the election system computers in 21 states.  What’s to stop them from pushing the envelope.  It is not out of the realm of possibility that with the tapping of a few keystrokes they could accomplish the near equivalent of a nuclear missile strike- disabling a huge section of our electrical power grid.  They already have their foot in the door  Russia hacks U.S. Nuclear Power Plant  The results would be very similar to a nuclear missile attack. If you are interested in some shit-scary observation about this, read Ted Koppel’s book “Lights Out.”  

Ask the county what their number one fear is and half will say terrorism. Maybe you think it’s a stretch to say that election tampering by an adversarial foreign government is terrorism, but should all the lights go out and hospital ventilators stop functioning and gas pumps quit working, you might concede early intervention might have been helpful.   We know Russia meddled in our democratic process.  The point I am trying to make is we need to direct our  focus on the larger issue.  The reason all these investigations are going on is it is extremely important we find out if any American citizens were involved because they are either guilty of obstruction of Justice or possibly treason, or stunning and dangerous ignorance, all of which  might well serve to accelerate a more heinous foreign agenda. Robert Mueller is likely to expose Trump’s shifty business practices as well, especially if tax returns are subpoenaed, but the president has no one to blame but himself for that investigation.  A cyber war catastrophe in this country is just as likely to occur as a nuclear one.  Why so many people have chosen to regard this Russian intrusion with casual indifference is beyond me.

Most people would take that meeting?  Most people in the Trump family maybe.  Most normal people would contact the authorities.

I can not help thinking  how we have just circled back to the very beginning.  Of course before Trump got elected we had no inkling of how he would govern. Right after he became president I think the majority of us thought the guy should at least be given a chance.  That did not last long in my case.  If you are like me and have nothing better to do than sit on your ass all day, see my previous blog  https://www.asiteforsoreguys.com/gaslighting  .  As time has progressed, about the only consistent thing we are seeing from this administration is what a total clusterfuck it is.  Our democracy is certainly being put to the test.  Undoubtedly it will survive this shit-storm, but if congress is to get anything of substance accomplished its members had better pull their collective heads out of their asses and mitigate the damage.  Get a spine and tell the president he needs to quit deflecting, take responsibility, and start cooperating.  Hopefully Trump’s recent veiled threat against Robert Mueller if he investigates the president’s family business ties will raise your democratic hackles.

However, what we do know now that we knew from the very beginning of the campaign season is how bereft of moral character Donald Trump Sr. is.  Unfortunately it seems obvious what Senior considers good parenting is to make sure the polarity of Junior’s moral compass is as discharged as his is.  “It must be magic to raise children in a household where probity has no meaning.”  That’s a perfect quote from the editorial page of a Cincinnati newspaper.  What Donald Jr. did by biting on the bait offered by Rob Goldstone was reprehensibly wrong, plain and simple.  So comically ironic is the fact that Junior, in the process of defending himself on this very issue,  only made things worse by telling yet another blatant lie- on Sean Hannity’s show no less.   He can attempt to put any spin he wants on all of this, and god knows he’s been out there twirling his best, but it does not matter.  It is obvious the orange does not fall far from the tree.

I know Trump’s most entrenched supporters will believe this is acceptable behavior, that to them the end justifies any kind of means, and the staunchest congressional Republicans will keep deflecting.  But you can not defend the indefensible.  The “family values” plank of the Republican party platform was removed and shoved through a wood chipper the minute it accepted Donald Trump as its candidate.  The man always was and will continue to be a completely amoral narcissist, a whining liar, and as we are now witnessing,  an incompetent leader.  He believes his suspect values are the only proper ones and obviously those are the ones he has instilled in his children.   Every member of congress has  intrusive knowledge of this conduct on a day to day basis.  Maybe the general public has become numb to it. But congressional members have no excuse.  They are directly exposed, and by continuing to enable this president they are displaying a shameful example to their own children.

“Botched collusion is still collusion.”  Charles Krauthammer, syndicated columnist, Washington Post

“Russia is the one country that could physically destroy America,”  Steven Pifer, Former U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine

“Release your tax returns Mr. Twitterbitch,”  me and 224 million Americans.

 

 

Anniversary

I’m up on my roof.  I’m here because this is where my wife sent me.   She noticed some debris had collected between two gables and was sure I was just the one who could take care of that problem.  Between those two gables is a trapezoidal section covered with flashing and is fairly flat, so it is a natural staging area for fallen twigs and leaves to rest.  I am always hopeful  Mother Nature  will sweep them away with a succession of her bouts of stormy temper before my wife notices them.  She is a stickler for detail.  She’s not obsessive-compulsive or anything.  It’s just that there are some particular things that she feels important for appearances sake.  If the pleat of  a bed skirt is not lying flat, a throw pillow out of place, or there are dead bugs inside the opaque cover of an outdoor light fixture, it will get her attention.  And sometimes her concerns eventually mean more work for me.  Unfortunately one of those times is right now because the proper weather patterns never materialized to save me from this death-defying mission.

My work is done.  I managed to knock down all the twigs and leaves without participating  in their decent. Since the incline is minimal in this spot, I feel safe though.  Actually it’s kind of cool here.  I can stand, or I can sit down and rest my ass on the steeper part of the roof and let my mind wonder reflectively, or better yet, scan the neighborhood and mentally make fun of people I see walking around.  You get a different perspective up here.  I have a six foot fence that surrounds most of my back yard, and naturally that inhibits a lot of human interaction.  And that’s the whole point of a six foot fence really.   I don’t care to know your business, and I sure as hell don’t want you nosing around in mine.  Geez, there’s my next door neighbor strutting around without a shirt on again.  My wife hates that.  Usually there’s an accompanying  episode or two of plumber’s crack she feels she has do endure.  I keep telling her she doesn’t have to look at it. Change the channel for Pete’s sake.  But my wife was raised with a strong sense of right and wrong, and coursing  through all of it is a very elevated expectation of common decency.

Man I didn’t realize how nice the neighbor’s yard is behind me.  It used to be little more than a stark testament to what man can accomplish when he completely gives up on ambition- discarded containers and tires strewn throughout the yard, piles of dog shit on the patio, and every once in awhile the smell of a dead animal rotting away in the total concealment of weeds that were knee-high.  That new guy really got the place in shape.  Next to him lives a short, chubby guy who I have been told is an ambulance chasing  attorney and is a total asshole.  That’s the story circulating in the neighborhood anyway.  He has some great power tools though.  He’s always firing something up and waking me from my  afternoon nap. That strikes my wife as being inconsiderate.  If there is one word to describe my wife it’s considerate.  Champion of the underdog.  God don’t get her started on the plight of the Native American, unless you’re game for a rousing psychological bitch slapping.

Then right next to the attorney is-  you know I don’t know who lives there.  But next to that house live the Wamplers.  The boys are a handful and I can’t say I appreciate all the discharged bottle rockets I find in my backyard during the first week of every July.  Old man Wampler is a character though.  He is a neighborhood philosopher of sorts, likes to hand out unsolicited advice, and will surprise with a folksy saying every once in awhile.  One time when he was walking by my house we got engaged in a conversation about vacations we have taken and he made a point of emphasizing how important it was to take one by stating, “No matter what, once every year I pack up all my kids that aren’t in jail and just head out of town.”  That’s a sentiment that somehow just sticks with you.     

   Little Bobby Wampler Pictured Here the Day After Last Year’s Wampler 4th of July Celebration

Well enough of the contemplation.  It’s time to think about getting off of my roof.  Damn I forgot about this part.  At some point I have to scoot backwards to get onto my ladder.  If you think that’s easy, well eat shit.  Except for the section I was resting on, my roof is a series of 45 degree pitches.  God I hate this.  My wife would calm me down if she were up here.  I tend to get all panicky if I’m not reasonably certain of an outcome.  But my wife is forever the optimist, her cup always half full, although this Trump business is wearing on her a bit. It’s almost refreshing to hear her complain about something.  I love that woman.  Holy shit! You know what I just remembered?  It’s my wedding anniversary.

Ordinarily I’m not the romantic type.  I can safely say no one who knows me would argue that point.  I don’t mean to sound like I’m proud of it or anything.  It’s just the way I am.  I suppose I could put more effort into that factor of the relationship equation.  But through the years I’ve managed to convince my wife all  holidays are just a capitalistic scam and if we are smart we should always forgo the pretentiousness.  Basically my feeling is neither of us should have to explain ourselves.  We know how we feel.  For Pete’s sake we’ve put up with each other for 46 years so obviously we are not lacking in communications skills.

That’s me.  Is that wrong?  Right now I’m beginning to think so.  It’s not that I don’t appreciate my wife.  She is a remarkable woman. She’s thoughtful, bright, loving, generous, patient, and holy cow is she a thorough housekeeper.  Very methodical.  And organized.  How did I get so lucky.  Now I kind of feel like a dick.  I don’t know what I’d do without her.

    My Wife is a Housekeeping Wizard

Sometimes we banter about who will die first.  If that topic comes up, it’s usually because we have just reflected on the genetic background of our respective families.  Since my mother is 98 and remarkably spry, we inevitably conclude that I would be the winner.  That’s if you believe there is victory in living longer.  But in fact I would be the loser in our situation.  I have to go out first.  I can’t figure out that damn dishwasher.  And the washing machine?  Just forget about it.  All those cycles and nobs and settings.  Bunch of unnecessary  manufacturer’s  hubris if you ask me.  It might end for me in a few minutes if I and my aluminum ladder make contact with those power lines attached to my house.  With my luck though the only thing I’d take down would be the cable TV service. Then I’d be lying in bed all crippled up without any television.  That would really suck.

Shit I hate being up here.  If I make it back to earth I swear I’ll turn over a new leaf.  I’m going to hop in my car and go get my wife an anniversary card, one that is overflowing with syrupy romanticism.  And a present too.  I think she’d really enjoy a box of Swiffers.   I don’t know what they are, but she is always raving about them.

So, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SWEATHEART!  I LOVE YOU VERY, VERY MUCH. Now please call the fire department and see if they can send someone to get me down from here.

Also, if you believe I’m up here on this roof with my lap top you’re kind of a dumb shit.  If you can’t figure out how I wrote this you’ll have to go ask someone who is a little more perceptive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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