It has emerged that due to a dramatic increase in terroristic threats abroad, President Trump’s security detail will be taking extraordinary measures to ensure his safety.  The Associated Press is reporting that all of the president’s international flights will involve three different planes, and various members of his staff will be required to board their assigned plane in disguise.  The report states that one plane will be designated as a decoy flight, and will transport the press corps and anyone else the president doesn’t like, as well as Vice President Vance.  The president will board one of the other planes with people he likes.  The third plane will serve in an extra precautionary capacity.  Under conditions of exraordinary threat, a food truck might or might not clandestinely transport the president and staff favorite Natalie Harp from one plane to the other as a final fail-safe  provision.

Lead AP reporter Jason Wrigley  said the VP is thrilled to have such an important role in the executive 3 card monte security strategy.

We caught up with Mr. Wrigley at Snookers Bar and Grill in downtown DC.  “Oh ya.  Vance is all on board believe it or not.  I guess he’s despirate to get Trump’s endorsement for his presidential run.  You had to see all this coming though.  There’s not a country on the planet Trump hasn’t fucked over with tariffs,  the Hormus fuel embargo, or just plain insults.  Everyone hates his ass.”

It is rumored the president will be donning a series of different disguises himself.  Wrigley said he heard Trump was considering wearing a hockey golie uniform.  He also thought Trump would definately play along if he could dress up like one of his favorite NFT card images.

What Trump sees when he looks in a mirror