The intention of President Trump’s ongoing nationwide campaign tour is to shore up support for vulnerable Republicans in swing states, but it has emerged his rambling discourse during various rallies has created confusion that is costing GOP votes. And nothing is more conflicting to his supporters than his unrelenting references to the body parts of other men. “Creepy,” “strange,” and “is he really a homo?” are some of the comments supporters gave as they exited the Trump rally in Ohio. Art Cracker, a Trump groupie who has attended several of his rallies, said he was committed to Trump ever since his “grab ’em by the pussy” claim, but stated he no longer could support him. “It’s disgusting, a man eyeballing another man’s ass. I originally thought communist Democrats had generated some fake AI crap, but the president seems to get a boner everytime he spots a good looking man. It’s disgusting.”
Remarkably, just a couple of days later, Trump was able to rehab his reputation for overt misogyny at his rally in Michigan. On stage with him was Nicki Minaj, and instead of commenting about the buttocks of any hot, sculpted hunk within his field of vision, he asked the audience to direct their attention to Ms. Menaj’s ass. And instantly the homophobes in attendance knew their boy was back.
The relief was palpable. Attendees were beside themselves with glee as they filed from the event. We caught up with one, Herb Buckmeister, a hyper-devoted Trump admirer and self described Bible authority. He praised the Lord for bestowing Ms. Menaj’s timely tight-fitting presence, and for allowing President Trump to see the light. It was quickly pointed out that since the president seemed to admire both the male and female form, that there was a distinct possibility he could posses bigender identity. After explaining the concept of bigender identity to Mr. Buckmeister, he walked away dejectedly and into the surging traffic of a city expressway, where he was instantly struck by a concrete mixing truck. Sadly, it will now never be known if Mr. Buckmeister would have voted a straight GOP ticket.