After carefull consideration of public interest and probability data, the prediction market platform Polymarket has registered an over/under bet reflecting the number of times President Trump will say a peace deal is close to being finalized before an actual deal is struck.  Taking into account the 38 times Trump has already made the statement, Polymarket has established the nember at  525.

Marvin Twillwater, a polymarket consultant, said at first he thought that number was a bit high, but after analyzing  his own data he was satisfied Polymarket knew it’s stuff.  “This is after all the TACO president, and all things considered the figure seems about right.  Iran has his balls in a vice. Knowing the American public has little tolerance for committing ground troops,  he’ll just keep working his smoke and mirrors act and as long as he can keep stringing along a gullible stock market he’ll keep it up.  Saving face is way more important to him than worrying about screwing over three hundred million American citizens by continuing the conflict..  His shit-show war will probably be a defining moment of his legacy, and he has on his hands a hopeless struggle to try and polish the turd, so to speak.”

Twillwater said that in the end we will all get screwed, and that Trump’s only real strategy has been to dazzle with fancy footwork.  “While you’re  watching him shuffle and dodge another 500 times, why not take a shot at some Polymarket cash. The anticipation of the eventual outcome might make the frustrating drudgery of  Trump’s indecision at least tolerable.”