FROM PRESIDENT TRUMP’S ADDRESS TO THE MEGA DONER  CROWD THAT ATTENDED HIS EXCLUSIVE CRYPTO INVESTIMENT DINNER

In his short speach Donald Trump said his part time job of being president has been more fruitful than he had originally imagined.  “It’s funny but all of a sudden  this second job is not only profitable but  has made my real job so much easier and and there’s nothing to it.  I sit at my big, beautiful desk, smile for the camera and sign a few papers, sit at a big, beautiful table for an hour or so with some other people while they tell me what a terrific job I’m doing,  make a few phone calls, stuff like that.  It’s so easy.  If I need something done, get somebody a job, all I have to do is mention all the bad things that can happen if I don’t get my way.  Sure sometimes I have to sit around and make small talk with somebody I really don’t know, maybe don’t even like the guy, but it’s pretty easy for me to just make stuff up and move the conversation along.  Maybe the best thing is the transisition from this side hustle to my real job is… it’s like, almost seamless.  I can conduct business right from the White House.  That’s nice, so I have extra time to concentrate on my real business when I’m at Mar a Lago or any of my beautiful golf courses . Saves me  a lot of time.”

President Trump said he never became discourage when he had to give up his second job the first time.  “Everyone knows what a raw deal I got.  Totally rigged.  But I always knew I would get my side hustle back.  I had to.  It’s the best one I ever had.  Casino’s and a university- not so much.  But this.  It’s great.  One of the best things is I can help out all my billionair buddies out there with this second job.  That’s why the people in my cabinet love me so much.  Love me. They REALLY love me!  It’s so true.  They know when I help them out, they can help their billionaire frieinds out too.  It’s called trickle down.  Trickle down.  Kickoff a tarrif that starts a huge stock sell off, then let them know when I’m going to pull it back so they can cash in on the rebound.  They really appreciate that.  And you can get in on that too.  Pay attention and you can get in on it too.  You hear those socialist communists saying what I’m doing is all crazy and indecisive.  You don’t hear that from the smart people, the people who know.  They know it’s what I do.  It’s like the weave.  It IS the weave.  You guys want to get rich, more rich, pay attention to my weave.  The WEAVE IN THE WHITE HOUSE!  It’ll make you RICH!  Gettin’ rich.  That’s what it’s all about, right?

Speaking of that, I hate to tell you but I have to get going.  You know why?  To make you MORE RICH!  I have to get over to the House and get them moving on my One, Big, Beautiful Bill.  I like that name. Like it!  It’s gonna get done believe me. I just have to pop in and tell them to get it done and get it done NOW!  I shouldn’t ever have to do that by the way. They should just get it done.  But they know when I show up it means I am not happy because it means I have less time to spend  at my real job.  I’ll  be reminding them of the bad things that can happen to them.  Believe me after that it won’t take long.  Are you excited?  You gotta be excited.  You won’t believe the tax windfall I’ll be handing you guys.  I guess, and a lot of people are saying this.  It’s the biggest upward transfer of wealth in our history.  All time high.  The most.  Biggest.   This is trickle UP economics.  Trickle up.  We get the trickle down, and we get the trickle up too.  You believe that?  You better, cause it’s coming.  You can thank me later.  Enjoy the evening.”