See this? This American Land  You don’t necessarily have to read the article, although if you appreciate nature you will likewise appreciate what David Brooks has to say.  I just wanted to rub something in.  I just got back from spending a week in the Teton National Park, pictured at the top of this article.  It is a majestic place, and when planning vacations I make it a point to include a visit here whenever possible. I don’t like mentioning how beautiful the area is, because then you might get the idea you have to go there and I really don’t want you cluttering up my space.  But it is a national park, preserved for all of us to enjoy, so it is only fair that I put my personal feelings aside and hope for the best.  I’m from Wyoming, so when I was a kid my father took our family to the Tetons many times.  The first time I laid eyes on the imposing beauty of those magnificent mountains it took my breath away, and that reaction occurs even to this day.

There are many, many places in our country that are similarly striking and if you are the type that truly does appreciate nature you probably hold a special place in your heart for one of those places.  Chances are it is one of America’s national parks or monuments.  Which brings me to another article with a heading photo of a place in my home state, and it really pisses me off.  Making America Polluted Again.  It is very true that Trump has little interest in policy and practically makes it a point to stay disconnected from any kind of agenda.  The one constant that holds Trump’s interest though is a bazaar, pernicious obsession with the destruction of the environment.

Why?  “I’m, like, a really smart person,” to quote the guy.  He apparently attended a prestigious college- Wharton School of Business, but he leaves to the imagination how accomplished a student he was since he won’t release his transcripts.  Was his educational experience totally related to business and devoid of any academic course involving the humanities?  Growing up, did he live his life walking only along concreat paths and amongst nothing but a forrest of tall buildings? Something in the Brook’s article struck me.  He points out that Trump is “Untouched by wilderness, by the awe and humility that comes with the encounter with nature.”  The closest thing the man has to any kind of naturalistic epiphany is the boner he gets when he visits one of his golf courses.  For a very enlightening perspective of how he feels about golf, get a look at the August edition of Sports Illustrated ( First Golfer ).  It’s a long article, but worth the read if you want a different perspective of how this privileged man has lived his life.  I think you would find how he has screwed local communities out of their educational tax revenue by manipulating the tax assessment of his golf courses in his favor particularly galling.  What caught my attention personally was how he equates golf with status.  Deep into the article he states people should “earn” the privilege to golf.  WTF?  I don’t play a lot of golf, but Geezuz I don’t feel like I’m something special when I do. I do have my own special rule when I’m on a course though.  That’s everyone in my group has to stop off at the clubhouse for drinks every 3rd hole.  I have found that does wonders to tilt the field of competition towards my level of incompetence.

What Trump infers of course is there is no way in hell you are going to play on one of his courses unless you reside in the economic class that can afford to pay his gaudy membership and rental fees.  Only the pampered rich dare belong.  What an asshole.  Instead of playing golf every weekend, I think it would be a good idea if Trump spent a week just relaxing within the confines of one of our beautiful national parks.  Perhaps take a book along, one of those large informational ones about the spectacular places in our country, the kind that has few words but lots of pictures to help him out. Should be a good way to prod a neophyte into appreciating the world around him.  There is a good chance what David Brooks postulates is correct.  Perhaps what we all need is a reconnection with the land.

 

 

This is rich. The Sun and the Moon.  Most people probably saw this somewhere, but it is worth mentioning once more that it would be in the president’s own best interest if someone took his phone away.  Somehow Trump thinks this meme tweeted by one of his devotees was worthy of his retweet.  It’s a well known fact the man has the attention span of a gold fish, but if he thought it through he would realize this is hardly flattering.  We know English grammar and vocabulary were not exactly his scholastic strengths, and obviously any kind of subject involving history must have been a challenge for him.  But now maybe we have an understanding of where his climate change denial comes from.  Science class must have been a big bother to him.  He probably felt it was more important  to get a a good look up little Lucy’s skirt than it was to pay attention on the day his teacher explained a solar eclipse.  Actually you couldn’t ask for a more appropriate analogy to the Trump presidency.

We had a former president who was a bright star of  intelligence and dignity, was eloquent, diplomatic, principled, and respectful, and then along comes the next one and the light went out.  And an eclipse only lasts for a short period of time.  Let’s hope there is something merciful on the horizon and the Trump  presidency moves into its short and final stages.

The reaction of course is something we should expect from this man who seems so desperate for attention and adoration, but not only did President “Thumbs for brains” appear clueless about the meme itself by retweeting it, but it turns out the sender of this ironic tweet is a practicing white supremacist.  Once again, how appropriate.

I think I have mentioned I read a lot. It’s the way I cope, living day to day in Trump world.  Lately I have developed a curiosity about things that are existential and philosophical.  Probably a big waste of my time.  I should be watching sports on TV.  I like to read about evolution, and books about that topic will inevitably ask the big questions, Who am I and Where did I come from and How did I come to be here?  Well shit, I know who I am, at least I know my own name.  And I came from hard working parents who were raised in the the corn belt with midwestern values and settled and raised their family in a very conservative western, overwhelmingly white, state.  I never saw a black person in my home town and it was not until I went to college in Omaha that I had any contact with members of that race.  And I am embarrassed to say that in spite of having absolutely no interaction with a black person, when I was young I had prejudices against them that were of course unfounded and ridiculous.  Those misconceptions were a product of my father, a member of the “Greatest Generation,” the generation that saved the world from Naziism but paradoxically had engrained in it feelings about black society that ranged from prejudicial naiveté, as was the case with my father, to outright hateful bigotry.

But I grew, matured, and became aware of racial/social injustice, and believed that, slowly but surely, as a country we were progressing likewise.  And so It is upsetting to me to see something so disconnected from American principles like we all witnessed in Charlottesville Virginia earlier this month.  I know who I am.  But who are these stupid dicks and where in hell did they come from?  Those are the big questions I have.  What was striking to me and particularly alarming as well was the fact that the white supremacist faction during this demonstration was pretty much all young men.  What I expect to see at these supremacy gatherings are old farts, men my age who still have not been able to cast aside the prejudices of their fathers.  I see far more men of the generation behind me participating in these nefarious demonstrations.  It is a generation that by now should have a better grasp of racial issues and  a more flourishing respect for humanity.  I can’t help feeling that instead of our society evolving forward with more understanding and compassion, it is slipping backward and becoming  more prejudicial and tribal.

I seriously doubt the morons carrying tiki torches and screaming racial and religious insults were in Charlottesville to express disapproval of removing a statue.  They were there to foment trouble and express hatred.  And yes there were those with an opposing viewpoint that felt it was important to take a stand and physically confront the rabble of white supremacists.  Certainly that is regrettable.  But to say there was a moral equivalency between the two groups, as did our ignorant, unhinged president, is absurd.  One side was spewing racial and religious hatred and the other had members among it that became lamentably but understandably incensed enough to react.

Perhaps people should take some time off from their busy programs of harassment and give serious thought to role reversal.  Envision a time gone by where your white ancestors were abducted from a far away land, chained together and stuffed on slave ships for a couple of months, forced to labor in a foreign country of ruling blacks, and were whipped, raped, mutilated, hung and abused in every way imaginable,   Of course there were no legal repercussions for any of the atrocities because slaves were considered property and in the eyes of a slave holder had little connection to humanity.  And lets say after a bit of time a large segment of the black population decided there should be an end to all the cruelty, but another segment of the black population decided it was not about to relinquish its peculiar institution of inhumane conduct and thus raised an army that initiated a treasonous war with the intension of governmental separation.  Then that war took the lives of over a half million of the country’s black men, but as horrible as it was, at least it once and for all put an end to the practice of white enslavement.  And imagine that even though slavery was officially abolished, a good percentage of blacks maintained an erroneous sense of superiority over the white race, accompanied with practices of intimidation, and inaugurating upon it one indignity after another.  You can bet as time moved along the white population would not appreciate seeing any kind of reminder about that scandalous past.

To those legitimately  participating in this demonstration or any other for sentimental or historical reasons and think it is important to save these statues, personally I would not argue your point.   Save all those statues of Confederate soldiers, but put them in museums all around the county and attach to each a narrative that explains what the Confederate South in America stood for, which was slavery, intolerance, and an appalling example of man’s inhumanity towards his fellow man.  It is indeed important to save history, but it is just as important to remember it.

 

 

 

 

Is this guy for real?  Every time I think Trump can not possibly be any more shallow, he finds another way to drain the pond.  This son of a bitch is absolutely nuts.  Seriously.  There is something wrong with a person who is so completely absorbed with himself.  And nothing gives him a boner like a crowd of cooperative people, his most recent mark being a huge gathering of teen age boy scouts attending a Jamboree.   Of course none of them can even vote, but that didn’t stop our megalomaniacal president  from turning the event into one of his ego-stroking campaign orgies.  I think he was even surprised by the chorus of jeers and cheers he got whenever he pulled something from his bag of trigger words and phrases.  It is truly a sad day in America when the president of the United States thinks manipulating a group of pubescent boys into a chanting frenzy by denigrating a predecessor is setting an appropriate example of patriotism.  It’s the Boy Scouts of America!  They are supposed to be out there promoting God, country, and civic duty, but president shit-for-brains just could not resist the temptation to provoke the impressionable group into giving him one of his adulatory orgasms and in the process humiliate them and the entire organization.  The man is absolute pond-scum.  And that also goes for the ass-kissing members of his cabinet standing right behind him and encouraging him with their shit-eating grins.

I was a boy scout, loved being a part of it and learned a lot from participating.  Fortunately I was never subjected to any maniacal  rantings by a flakey adult.  The organization has a law.  It begins “A scout is:” and after that is just twelve words. Here they are: Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, reverent.  It might be smart if the scout leaders of each troop in attendance do some recon when they get home and suggest the youngsters do their best to purge their brains of the self-angrandizing and incendiary rhetoric uttered by Trump at this Jamboree.  It should be easy to make their point.  Do you see any of these attributes in Donald Trump?  Maybe “clean,” but only because he is a paranoid germaphobe.  If you could be prosecuted for violating the Boy Scout Law, Trump would get a life sentence in a federal prison.

I wonder what is upcoming on the Trump quasi campaign trail?  If he sees a huge gathering of migratory geese resting along a river bank while he is flying in Air Force One, he’s likely to instruct the pilot to land so he can go tell his feathered friends what a smashing victory he had in Wisconsin.  I heard there is a national Girl Scout conference scheduled in a few months, and boy would he love to weasel in a speaking invite there.  Mom’s, if you have even the slightest inclination that might happen, and any knowledge at all of previous Trump behavior towards young women,  you might want to consider tagging along on this one.  Of course you must be ever vigilant lest you be grabbed yourself.

 

 

Well here we go again.  From all appearances it seems Donald Trump Jr just pulled off the bone-head move of the political decade and once again the resulting stink from a disjointed White House has all of us anti-Trumpers giddy with anticipation.  Surely this is finally going to motivate any  principled Republican in congress to admit enough is enough.  But I’ve learned not to get my hopes up.  In fact, hang onto your hats folks because on the horizon will be some of the most creatively entertaining political spin Conway, Spicer, and Huckabee Sanders have ever produced.  And remarkably our elected sycophants will continue to enable a man who has no business in the Oval Office.

Politics has become so polarized in this country this is where we have landed.  Wave after wave of alarming events pound the shoreline of our consciousness until rock solid principles of democracy and decency are pulverized into grains of indifference.  Instead of considering Junior’s behavior disturbing, defenders are treating it as if it was little more than a glass of spilled milk.  Just a simple mistake by a neophyte.  “Most people would take that meeting” says the President of the United States.

What in the hell have we become?  Put the idiocy and collusion surrounding this episode aside for a moment and just look at the computer hacking aspects.   What keeps getting lost every time one of these mind-bending stories surfaces is the fact there was Russian interference in our election process.  Geezuz H the country has been attacked and this administration is perfectly happy doing nothing about it.  The internet corruption that went on here is not much less frightening than the danger posed by the nut job in North Korea.  You could say what Russia managed to get away with so far is cyber sniper fire.  Besides fomenting fake stories on the internet, they hacked the election system computers in 21 states.  What’s to stop them from pushing the envelope.  It is not out of the realm of possibility that with the tapping of a few keystrokes they could accomplish the near equivalent of a nuclear missile strike- disabling a huge section of our electrical power grid.  They already have their foot in the door  Russia hacks U.S. Nuclear Power Plant  The results would be very similar to a nuclear missile attack. If you are interested in some shit-scary observation about this, read Ted Koppel’s book “Lights Out.”  

Ask the county what their number one fear is and half will say terrorism. Maybe you think it’s a stretch to say that election tampering by an adversarial foreign government is terrorism, but should all the lights go out and hospital ventilators stop functioning and gas pumps quit working, you might concede early intervention might have been helpful.   We know Russia meddled in our democratic process.  The point I am trying to make is we need to direct our  focus on the larger issue.  The reason all these investigations are going on is it is extremely important we find out if any American citizens were involved because they are either guilty of obstruction of Justice or possibly treason, or stunning and dangerous ignorance, all of which  might well serve to accelerate a more heinous foreign agenda. Robert Mueller is likely to expose Trump’s shifty business practices as well, especially if tax returns are subpoenaed, but the president has no one to blame but himself for that investigation.  A cyber war catastrophe in this country is just as likely to occur as a nuclear one.  Why so many people have chosen to regard this Russian intrusion with casual indifference is beyond me.

Most people would take that meeting?  Most people in the Trump family maybe.  Most normal people would contact the authorities.

I can not help thinking  how we have just circled back to the very beginning.  Of course before Trump got elected we had no inkling of how he would govern. Right after he became president I think the majority of us thought the guy should at least be given a chance.  That did not last long in my case.  If you are like me and have nothing better to do than sit on your ass all day, see my previous blog  https://www.asiteforsoreguys.com/gaslighting  .  As time has progressed, about the only consistent thing we are seeing from this administration is what a total clusterfuck it is.  Our democracy is certainly being put to the test.  Undoubtedly it will survive this shit-storm, but if congress is to get anything of substance accomplished its members had better pull their collective heads out of their asses and mitigate the damage.  Get a spine and tell the president he needs to quit deflecting, take responsibility, and start cooperating.  Hopefully Trump’s recent veiled threat against Robert Mueller if he investigates the president’s family business ties will raise your democratic hackles.

However, what we do know now that we knew from the very beginning of the campaign season is how bereft of moral character Donald Trump Sr. is.  Unfortunately it seems obvious what Senior considers good parenting is to make sure the polarity of Junior’s moral compass is as discharged as his is.  “It must be magic to raise children in a household where probity has no meaning.”  That’s a perfect quote from the editorial page of a Cincinnati newspaper.  What Donald Jr. did by biting on the bait offered by Rob Goldstone was reprehensibly wrong, plain and simple.  So comically ironic is the fact that Junior, in the process of defending himself on this very issue,  only made things worse by telling yet another blatant lie- on Sean Hannity’s show no less.   He can attempt to put any spin he wants on all of this, and god knows he’s been out there twirling his best, but it does not matter.  It is obvious the orange does not fall far from the tree.

I know Trump’s most entrenched supporters will believe this is acceptable behavior, that to them the end justifies any kind of means, and the staunchest congressional Republicans will keep deflecting.  But you can not defend the indefensible.  The “family values” plank of the Republican party platform was removed and shoved through a wood chipper the minute it accepted Donald Trump as its candidate.  The man always was and will continue to be a completely amoral narcissist, a whining liar, and as we are now witnessing,  an incompetent leader.  He believes his suspect values are the only proper ones and obviously those are the ones he has instilled in his children.   Every member of congress has  intrusive knowledge of this conduct on a day to day basis.  Maybe the general public has become numb to it. But congressional members have no excuse.  They are directly exposed, and by continuing to enable this president they are displaying a shameful example to their own children.

“Botched collusion is still collusion.”  Charles Krauthammer, syndicated columnist, Washington Post

“Russia is the one country that could physically destroy America,”  Steven Pifer, Former U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine

“Release your tax returns Mr. Twitterbitch,”  me and 224 million Americans.

 

 

     

President Trump has established a Monday morning tradition of meeting with Kellyanne Conway and Steve Bannon to review news reports from the  weekend.  This is a transcript of a tape recording from the meeting of Monday 6/5/2017 that was made unwittingly by the president when he accidentally hit “record” on the office entertainment system while he was trying to figure out how to watch a DVD he made of himself dancing.  The recording was discovered by a maintenance technician and has been subpoenaed as evidence related to the Mueller investigation.

***Sound of door opening and closing and shuffling feet***

      

TRUMP:  Good morning.

CONWAY and BANNON:  Good morning sir.

TRUMP:  What have you got for me?  I watched Fox all evening.  I wish Hannity had been on. He should be on more, like twelve hours a day.  I think Fox should think about that.  He has a great, tremendous program.  Lots of people like him.  Like, many people.

CONWAY:  That’s so true sir.  I love that guy.  Well, I channel surfed all evening and didn’t come up with much that’s new, although there was that commentary on DC channel 12.  It was on pretty late so you might have seen it after watching Fox.

TRUMP:  No. I’m tired of watching fake news.  I stuck with Fox all night.

CONWAY:  Well sir, the story was sort of a documentary, and it basically named you the most obtuse president in the entire history of the country.

TRUMP:  WOW!  The most!  Well you know I’m a winner Kellyanne.  I never lose.  Always a winner.  And it was a documentary thing.  That’s good.  Not just some reporter blowing hot air?

CONWAY:  No sir.  It was an hour long documentary.  A  lot of prestigious people contributed.  But I’m not sure you understan…

TRUMP:  Who’s my competition?  I beat out Obama, right?  I must have.

CONWAY:  Yes sir, by a mile.  But…

TRUMP:  That’s perfect.  How ’bout Washington, or Lincoln?

CONWAY:  Not even close.

TRUMP:  All right.  Things are looking up.  I don’t need any more bad news.  I just don’t want to hear any more bad news!  Bad news- NO, NO uh-uh. No more. I think we should really run with this ah, obstruse thing.  How do you suppose this got started, I mean, what put me over the top?

CONWAY:  Oh I’m pretty sure it was an accumulation of things, but my guess is it was backing out of the climate change agreement that propelled you into first place.

TRUMP;  I knew that was a good idea.  Tillerson said we should stay in, but I just knew leaving was the right thing to do.  I have a knack for calling the right shots.  Intinct, Kellyanne, instinct.  That’s what it is.  I have a natural feel for things.  I knew I was going to win the election.  I won by a lot too.  Biggest electoral win since Reagan.  It was huge.  You know that.  I might have to think about firing Tillerson. Ok.  So how can we take advantage of this.  I mean, can we do anything else to really, like, slam the door on it.  I don’t want any of those other guys sneaking up on me and  snatching this away.  Who’s the closest to me?  I know you might think I’m pushy, but I’m a competitor.  And a winner.  Always have been.

CONWAY:  Yes sir I do know that.   Well there’s Buchanan.  He kind of sat around and let the Confederacy take hold.  And Harding played poker all day while his friends plundered the U.S. Treasury.  Those two are right behind you.

TRUMP:  Buchanan and Harding.  Hmmm.  Can’t say I know much about them.  Did either of them play any golf?  I think we should watch out for Harding.  Sounds like he might have been a good deal-maker. He must have had some real loyal people on his team.  You reward people like that.  Loyalty-  very important, very important.  Just like you guys.  Loyalty is big, I mean really huge.  Actually though  it’s all that poker playing that really bothers me. You know about my casino’s.  Everyone knows it was all those ridiculous state regulations that, you know, that’s why I got out.  And look how I made out.  All those investors got stuck and I came out like a bitch.  I know what I’m doing.  It’s how I make deals.   It’s what I do. Now, the dishonest media might start some rumor that Harding would have been better at running casinos.  That just might be a problem.  I think we should come up with something to really cement this.  What do you think Steve?  Is there anything else we can come up with to make sure I hang onto this.

BANNON:  Oh sir, we’ve just got started.  I’ve got you covered, believe me.

TRUMP:  I know Steve.  I have all the confidence in the world in you.  You were right about the climate change deal.  I knew I could count on you.  Of course I was going to go down that road anyway.  I have that instinct thing-  it’s always there.  But you always watch my back.  I appreciate it.  So what ideas have you got?

BANNON:  Well there is a lot we can do on the European front.  We should probably keep pounding away at Germany- you should maybe make an announcement that anyone owning a BMW or Volkswagen has to ship it back to Germany.  And Macron could stand to be taken down a notch.  I know you think he’s a showboat anyway.

TRUMP:  Ya.  Showboat.  You got that right.  That handshake story- it’s just all fakey.  Fake news. He didn’t lock down on my hand.  I locked his hand up.  He couldn’t get away.  i had such a grip on his hand-  you can see it.  The dishonest media keeps saying what a tough guy he is. I was the one that had the tight grip, like a grip that was so strong and tremendously ah, grippy.  My grip is big league- everybody knows that.  A lot of people say I have the tightest grip like, they’ve ever seen, or ah, felt.  And you know Macron has a really old wife.  Not a ten like Malania. Or Ivanka.  That daughter of mine.  Is she hot or what?  Have you seen her in a swimsuit?  Those froggies don’t have women like we do over here.  I don’t care what they say.

CONWAY:  Melania is beautiful sir.  And of course Ivanka. She…

TRUMP:  You know you could be a ten Kellyanne.  You could!  You just get some of those breast implants- automatic ten.  That’s what it’s all about Kellyanne.  You have to have the breasts.  No tens without those.  Trust me.  Implants- you’d be a ten.

CONWAY:  You’re way too kind sir.

BANNON:  I have an idea I’ve been toying with for quite some time and I am starting to think this would really lock things up for you Mr. President.

TRUMP:  What’s that Steve?

BANNON:  Your tax returns.  Release them.

TRUMP and CONWAY:  ARE YOUR CRAZY!!

BANNON:  I know it’s a radical idea. But listen to me.  Most of the country wants you to do it.  Even half your base.  So right there you make them happy.  Then, when America gets a gander at the returns, we give it the old Trump spin and they will realize what a clever businessman you are by using Russian money to save your business, and then screwing the commies by overcharging them on real estate purchases and hiding the profits in those Cypriot banks. All of that without paying any income tax!  It’s the kind of thing your base will love you for.  And your detractors can only dream of being so financially astute. Their balls will wither from envy.  They won’t know what to do. It’s a complete win-win.  Of course we’ll have to pull Kislyak in and assure him it’s all part of the plan, but Putin knows there’s no way were going to screw him.

TRUMP:  Hmm.  Maybe your onto something there.  But I don’t know.  What about Ryan.  Say what you want, he’s been right out there hitting the dishonest media. He did a fantastic job getting it across that this government stuff is something new to me.  Release my tax records and I might lose Ryan.  I’m a smart business man.  Business.  It’s what I do. I make the best deals, the most tremendous, greatest deals.  He doesn’t understand business like I do and might think, like, I did something bad or something.  Can you believe that?  It’s business!  I have to admit this job’s been a little tougher than I thought.  But you can see I’m getting the hang of it.  I’m. like, a real smart person.  I know a lot of things.

CONWAY:  Yes sir.

BANNON:  Watching you work has been a real eye-opener sir.

TRUMP:  Thank you Steve.  But no, I think you’re wrong on this one.  It’s like a secret recipe, like Kentucky Fried Chicken.  You think Kentucky Fried wants their secret recipe out there for everyone to see.  No way Steve.  You know, I’m getting kind of hungry.

CONWAY:  Shall we take a break sir?

TRUMP;  Yes, I think we should.  I’m going to run down the hall and catch Whatshisname- have him make a McDonalds run.  You want anything?

CONWAY and BANNON:  No sir.

***Sound of shuffling feet and door opening and closing as Trump exits.***

CONWAY:  Should we keep playing him like this?  I’m starting to get nervous.

BANNON:  Kellyanne, come on!   Did you ever think it would be this easy? .  You’ve got to hang in there.  We are getting so close. We can ride the 38 percent into the next term.

CONWAY:  35 percent.  No way I was going to tell him the new number.

BANNON: OK.  35.  Still, we were sent here by them to burn the house down.  That’s the only way we can save it.   Besides, you heard him. You just admitted it yourself.  No more bad news.

CONWAY:  God I hope you know what you are doing.  Are you sure we need a wall along the Canadian border?

BANNON:  Come on.  I’ve explained this.  You said you are with me all the way.  You saw how I got him to work the solar panel conversation into the Mexican wall.  The left eats that crap up.  We just have to keep stroking him.  He loves walls.  You know that.  Strike while the iron’s hot!. We have a congress that’s nothing but a bunch of spineless jellyfish.  They are absolutely terrified of the guy.  It’s just too easy. The Isolation Shield is not just a dream now.  We have the technology and manipulative genius to keep foreigners out of the country and environmentalists out of our business- for good!  We can’t let up.

CONWAY:  I know you’re right.  What about Alaska and Hawaii though?  How are you going to extend the Shield’s electro magnetic field?

BANNON:  Hawaii could be a problem.  But most of those people aren’t true Caucasians.  Bunch of hula dancers and flaming baton twirlers.  I’ll be dropping subtle hints we should cut the whole place loose.  Revert it to Commonwealth status.  They caused nothing but problems when we introduced the travel ban anyway. That really snapped his strap.  And Alaska, are you kidding?  How many camel jockey’s are going to want to cause trouble in Alaska.  And anyone  from either state will be free to move about once they prove their white Christian status like the rest of us and have their radio frequency chip implanted.  Now remember.  The first full cabinet meeting is coming up soon.  Start spreading the word the president does not want any bad news  We want nothing but supplicant praise coming out of their mouths. And  you should get on Facebook and Twitter and start some rumors about  the turbulence from wind turbines causing cancer.  And when you have time throw something salacious out there about Harding-maybe make it look like he was involved in bestiality or something   That will make the president happy.  I’d do that one myself but I have to get cracking on getting Ginsberg off the bench.  It shouldn’t be that hard.  She’s just a sneeze away from a life-threatening pneumonia infection.  The Supreme Court and Muslim ban are within our grasp. Let’s get to work.

 

***Sound of shuffling feet, door opening and closing as Kellyanne and Steve exit***

INDEPENDENTCOMMENT:  Readers of this article should take note it might still be considered classified information.  You could face charges of treason should you share its content.  However,  keep in mind it is Mr. Bannon’s intention to let President Trump decide the insertion location of the the RF chips so mentioned above.  Legal consultants are therefore confident that any exposure to litigation will be non-existent, since a just review would most certainly reveal these actions to be an assault on human dignity,  which, many would concur, is an accurate characterization of many Trump policies as well as the man himself.  For the good of the country and protection of your loved ones, you simply must share.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lightbart  News report by Doug Furr

In an unusual turn of events, many Scottish communities are suddenly worried about the  impeachment rumors swirling around President Trump.  Only a short time ago the current U.S. president was recognized as the most hated man in Scotland, usurping the position from Edward Longshanks, the most despised man in Scottish history,  The infamous achievement was brought about after Mr. Trump started a smear campaign of intimidation in order to bully local residents who objected to the golf course and gaudy clubhouse he built along the beach of the coastal town of Aberdeenshire.

After a recent national poll was taken however, the president fell all the way to third place, behind the aforementioned Longshanks and Phil Oxenbauls, historically rumored to be the person who disemboweled William Wallace.  Why the sudden down surge of unpopularity?  It all has to do with the economics of Scotland.   It seems the diminishment of Mr. Trump’s unfavorable standing  correlates to the increases in sales of scotch, the third largest industry in the country.  Ever since Donald Trump became president, U.S. sales of scotch have skyrocketed.

I recently paid a visit to Brokenwinde, a peaceful lowland  hamlet situated on Scotland’s eastern shore.  There I met up with Peter McDooglestein, president and CEO of H. McMac and Company, makers of McMac scotch whiskey. The company has a long history in the alcohol production business.  Peter’s great, great grandfather, Hyman McDooglestein, was the first Rabbi to settle in Scotland, and dabbled in Kosher wine making.  The business gradually expanded to include the production of scotch, and over time their scotch developed such a prestigious reputation it was decided the company would discontinue peripheral products and concentrate solely on its single malt.

H. McMac Company employs 94 people, almost a third of Brokenwinde’s population.  A mere three months ago there were only 37 employees.  Peter McDooglestein attributes the increase in hiring and fortune to Donald Trump.  Since his inauguration, Peter said that U.S sales of McMac scotch have increased ten-fold.  “I got no understandin’ of what that fella’s s up to, but ever since he took over I ken tell ya it’s been real good for me and most of us in Brokenwinde,” he emphatically explained.  “I sure hope ye good people keep him on fer awhile.  I hear he’s made some trouble, but ye know how it is.  Live next to a pig sty and ye git used to the smell of shit after a bit.”

After a tour of his distillery, Peter took me to a local tavern, where I sampled a dram or two of McMac over lunch.  It is a fine lowland scotch, with a solid nutty flavor and just a slight, peaty aroma..  I had just finished my last drink, when another, very offensive aroma, came whiffing about.  “Don’t ye worry thar me friend,” Peter said with a grin. “That aint yer president come visitin’.  I just had the need to have a blow under me kilt.”

Having been back in the states for a couple of weeks, I have to say Peter McDooglestein is at least partly right.  A lot of people really have adjusted well to the smell coming from Washington.  Does not seem to bother them at all.  As for me, I just can’t seem to get past all the stink.  I know it’s just me.  Just my constitution I suppose.  But as one layer of shit after another piles up in the Trump White House the stench is simply becoming personally intolerable.

If you are like me and you find yourself reflexively gagging from the odor emanating from the White House, you might find my solution to the problem useful- McMac scotch. I don’t want to make any promises, but I can tell you it gets me through the day.