Three Things

Has this Trump guy just worn you out?  One ridiculous thing on top of another tends to numb the brain, and actually many pundits and even professional psychologists believe that this behavior of his is absolutely intentional- that he does all this stupid shit continually so that the majority of us simply can’t keep up and we loose track of just how moronic he is.  Thank you Rex for calling attention to the obvious.  We need a reset every once in awhile.

Which brings me to my first “thing.”  Trump indicated in one of his recent tweets he would love to have an I.Q. test-off with his secretary of state.  Raise your hand if you likewise think this is a smashing idea.  Personally I think we would be in store for quite the revelation since this is a man who never reads a book,  who’s vocabulary is limited to 350 words, and refuses to release academic transcripts of any kind.

Yes, I am worn out also.  I really need to take a break from political blogging. There are so many blogs and op-eds out there written and spoken by way more qualified people than myself.  It’s just easier to marshal their words with a link insertion, like this. Tom Brokaw and Guns.  No one needs a silencer.  Use some ear plugs if the noise from your hunting rifle bothers you.  How in the world the sale of “bump stocks” ever materialized is beyond me, but there is no sane reason any regular citizen should posses an assault rifle in the first place.  And Geezus H Kreist open carry on college campuses?  WTF?  There have been four recent shooting incidents on Texas campuses now, two of them fatal.  Is there no one with the balls to take on the gun lobby?  How refreshing would it be if a political party evolved whose platform was solely to do the unthinkable- take away guns.  Why not?  We have a president who’s radical agenda seems to be a nuclear war.  We need a counterbalance to all the insane chest thumping hawkishness with some kind of dovish appeal.  It’s the democratic way.

                  

More of This                                         Less of This

That was point number two.  Number three is something more realistic.  I can’t remember what stupid thing Trump wanted to deflect from by initiating his mind-boggling statement about objecting to protests in the NFL.  As mentioned, who can keep track?  But  this could end up being a gaffe that comes back to bite Trump in the ass.  Can you imagine the public outcry if the NFL shut down operation over this?  It really wouldn’t take much now that Dallas owner Jerry Jones just opened the door to a political shit-storm by thretening to bench or fire any of his Cowboys who kneel during the national anthem.  If a couple of his starters take a knee anytime soon you can bet there will be a very good chance of a landslide of professional participation.  The players would have Jerry Jones and the NFL by the balls. And as much as I hate to say it, good for them.  I love football.  I might go crazy myself without it.  But this is just the platform professional athletes should exploit to emphasize their position, which is to demand equality, not disparage the military, the flag, or even the president.  Peaceful protest is a fundamental  first amendment right of every citizen.  I imagine there would be some good ol’ boys in Alabama rethinking their jubilation over Trump’s initial provocative remark that launched this unnecessary  maelstrom during his political rally in their football crazy state.

 

Gratuitous Exploitation

Interjected in the center of all this controversy about kneeling during the national anthem is the question” why”. It arises again and again with our current president.  I’m not talking about why it’s happening.  We know that it is all about freedom of speech and the right to protest.  And likewise I’m not talking about why many consider the whole thing to be such a display of disrespect of the flag and all it stands for.  That is perfectly understandable.  Personally I have to say I wish athletes could find a different way to express themselves.  The head scratcher for me though is why the president of this nation  would go out of his way to inflame an already sensitive issue. That would be something to ponder if we had a normal man running the country.  But this is the Donald Trump show, directed by a man who by now we have come to realize is so completely not normal, the “why” in this situation is fairly easy to ascertain.

During all the anthem kneeling and so forth, what has surfaced as debatable argument with a likely outcome of gradual resolution, overnight turned into a firestorm of controversy, all because of a provocative statement  president shit-for-brains made during one of his after market campaign rallies.  Make no mistake.  Trump did not go to Alabama to stump for a Republican congressional candidate, although that was the initial intention pushed by the WH. Trump seems unsure if he is even backing the right candidate. Stumping for a primary candidate is a bit odd in the first place.  The real answer to “why” here is it was just another chance to supply Trump with a fix of his never ending need for public adoration.  What better way to give his ego a boner than letting him listen to a crowd of his staunch supporters enthusiastically respond to his profanity-laced course of red meat- the kind seasoned liberally with racial overtones.

Labeling NFL players who protest during the national anthem as unpatriotic is a complete win for Trump when his audience is a rabble of football crazy Alabama good ol’ boys. Heck, nationally over half the population feels that way, or is at least uncomfortable with that type of expression. Include me in the uncomfortable segment.   And Geezuz it’s hard to feel sorry for anyone making millions of dollars, although you can’t help admire someone who is willing to get his brains scrambled all in the name of entertainment.   Calling anyone an SOB during a nationally televised speech is pretty crass for anyone holding public office though, let alone the president of the United States, but unfortunately it is what we have come to expect from this president. You can argue that protesting during the national anthem is disrespectful to the flag, but so is racism.  As hard as it might be for many to swallow, these NFL demonstrations are about racial justice, not the U.S. flag,, the national anthem, our military, or Trump.

An ironic twist to this whole episode is instead of remaining unemployed, the chances of Colin Kaepernick getting picked up by an NFL team are suddenly looking promising, exactly the opposite of what Trump intended with this recent speech.  I’m surprised the editorial pages in Alabama didn’t go ballistic about Trump’s lack of football knowledge.  Outside of a platoon of combat vets or company of firefighters, I doubt if there is any institution that evokes more loyalty to their group than a team of football players.  Anyone who has played the game, from high school on up, is instilled with a sense of camaraderie that no doubt can be attributed to the violence of the sport.  Throw in the fact that 70% of those playing in the NFL are black, and you should understand chastising one of its members for exercising first amendment privilege to point out racial inequality is bound to create some blowback.  Trump’s concept of loyalty however only flows in one direction- his.  Underscoring how little the president knows about football is his comment about how the sport is not violent enough for his liking.  Every NFL owner arm-locked in protest with their team or otherwise knows all too well it is exactly that that could  be cause to litigate the sport out of existence.

“Bone Crusher” Kowalski models prototype of NFL headgear requested by President Trump

Of course that is all secondary.  The real issue is anyone’s first amendment right to protest.  And a protest is only as effective as the impact it has on society.  Whether you agree or not with Colin Kaepernick or any professional athlete taking a stand to promote racial equality during the national anthem, it is their right to do so.  And importantly, like it or not, for these black athletes there is no better opportunity to create impact than during the peaceful resonance of the national anthem.

Just for the hell of it here is a Chicago Tribune article that expresses the concerns of those who feel President Trump created an unnecessary shit-storm.  Presidential Fumble

Once again, instead of presidential leadership, we get little but incompetence and cultural divisiveness because of our president’s insatiable need for gratuitous applause.  Like this Tribune article implores, let’s leave race relations, free speech, religious protection, and now sports, to leaders who still have credibility.

 

 

 

The Land of the Free

See this? This American Land  You don’t necessarily have to read the article, although if you appreciate nature you will likewise appreciate what David Brooks has to say.  I just wanted to rub something in.  I just got back from spending a week in the Teton National Park, pictured at the top of this article.  It is a majestic place, and when planning vacations I make it a point to include a visit here whenever possible. I don’t like mentioning how beautiful the area is, because then you might get the idea you have to go there and I really don’t want you cluttering up my space.  But it is a national park, preserved for all of us to enjoy, so it is only fair that I put my personal feelings aside and hope for the best.  I’m from Wyoming, so when I was a kid my father took our family to the Tetons many times.  The first time I laid eyes on the imposing beauty of those magnificent mountains it took my breath away, and that reaction occurs even to this day.

There are many, many places in our country that are similarly striking and if you are the type that truly does appreciate nature you probably hold a special place in your heart for one of those places.  Chances are it is one of America’s national parks or monuments.  Which brings me to another article with a heading photo of a place in my home state, and it really pisses me off.  Making America Polluted Again.  It is very true that Trump has little interest in policy and practically makes it a point to stay disconnected from any kind of agenda.  The one constant that holds Trump’s interest though is a bazaar, pernicious obsession with the destruction of the environment.

Why?  “I’m, like, a really smart person,” to quote the guy.  He apparently attended a prestigious college- Wharton School of Business, but he leaves to the imagination how accomplished a student he was since he won’t release his transcripts.  Was his educational experience totally related to business and devoid of any academic course involving the humanities?  Growing up, did he live his life walking only along concreat paths and amongst nothing but a forrest of tall buildings? Something in the Brook’s article struck me.  He points out that Trump is “Untouched by wilderness, by the awe and humility that comes with the encounter with nature.”  The closest thing the man has to any kind of naturalistic epiphany is the boner he gets when he visits one of his golf courses.  For a very enlightening perspective of how he feels about golf, get a look at the August edition of Sports Illustrated ( First Golfer ).  It’s a long article, but worth the read if you want a different perspective of how this privileged man has lived his life.  I think you would find how he has screwed local communities out of their educational tax revenue by manipulating the tax assessment of his golf courses in his favor particularly galling.  What caught my attention personally was how he equates golf with status.  Deep into the article he states people should “earn” the privilege to golf.  WTF?  I don’t play a lot of golf, but Geezuz I don’t feel like I’m something special when I do. I do have my own special rule when I’m on a course though.  That’s everyone in my group has to stop off at the clubhouse for drinks every 3rd hole.  I have found that does wonders to tilt the field of competition towards my level of incompetence.

What Trump infers of course is there is no way in hell you are going to play on one of his courses unless you reside in the economic class that can afford to pay his gaudy membership and rental fees.  Only the pampered rich dare belong.  What an asshole.  Instead of playing golf every weekend, I think it would be a good idea if Trump spent a week just relaxing within the confines of one of our beautiful national parks.  Perhaps take a book along, one of those large informational ones about the spectacular places in our country, the kind that has few words but lots of pictures to help him out. Should be a good way to prod a neophyte into appreciating the world around him.  There is a good chance what David Brooks postulates is correct.  Perhaps what we all need is a reconnection with the land.

 

 

Presidential Eclipse

This is rich. The Sun and the Moon.  Most people probably saw this somewhere, but it is worth mentioning once more that it would be in the president’s own best interest if someone took his phone away.  Somehow Trump thinks this meme tweeted by one of his devotees was worthy of his retweet.  It’s a well known fact the man has the attention span of a gold fish, but if he thought it through he would realize this is hardly flattering.  We know English grammar and vocabulary were not exactly his scholastic strengths, and obviously any kind of subject involving history must have been a challenge for him.  But now maybe we have an understanding of where his climate change denial comes from.  Science class must have been a big bother to him.  He probably felt it was more important  to get a a good look up little Lucy’s skirt than it was to pay attention on the day his teacher explained a solar eclipse.  Actually you couldn’t ask for a more appropriate analogy to the Trump presidency.

We had a former president who was a bright star of  intelligence and dignity, was eloquent, diplomatic, principled, and respectful, and then along comes the next one and the light went out.  And an eclipse only lasts for a short period of time.  Let’s hope there is something merciful on the horizon and the Trump  presidency moves into its short and final stages.

The reaction of course is something we should expect from this man who seems so desperate for attention and adoration, but not only did President “Thumbs for brains” appear clueless about the meme itself by retweeting it, but it turns out the sender of this ironic tweet is a practicing white supremacist.  Once again, how appropriate.

Who Are We?

I think I have mentioned I read a lot. It’s the way I cope, living day to day in Trump world.  Lately I have developed a curiosity about things that are existential and philosophical.  Probably a big waste of my time.  I should be watching sports on TV.  I like to read about evolution, and books about that topic will inevitably ask the big questions, Who am I and Where did I come from and How did I come to be here?  Well shit, I know who I am, at least I know my own name.  And I came from hard working parents who were raised in the the corn belt with midwestern values and settled and raised their family in a very conservative western, overwhelmingly white, state.  I never saw a black person in my home town and it was not until I went to college in Omaha that I had any contact with members of that race.  And I am embarrassed to say that in spite of having absolutely no interaction with a black person, when I was young I had prejudices against them that were of course unfounded and ridiculous.  Those misconceptions were a product of my father, a member of the “Greatest Generation,” the generation that saved the world from Naziism but paradoxically had engrained in it feelings about black society that ranged from prejudicial naiveté, as was the case with my father, to outright hateful bigotry.

Stupid Dicks

But I grew, matured, and became aware of racial/social injustice, and believed that, slowly but surely, as a country we were progressing likewise.  And so It is upsetting to me to see something so disconnected from American principles like we all witnessed in Charlottesville Virginia earlier this month.  I know who I am.  But who are these stupid dicks and where in hell did they come from?  Those are the big questions I have.  What was striking to me and particularly alarming as well was the fact that the white supremacist faction during this demonstration was pretty much all young men.  What I expect to see at these supremacy gatherings are old farts, men my age who still have not been able to cast aside the prejudices of their fathers.  I see far more men of the generation behind me participating in these nefarious demonstrations.  It is a generation that by now should have a better grasp of racial issues and  a more flourishing respect for humanity.  I can’t help feeling that instead of our society evolving forward with more understanding and compassion, it is slipping backward and becoming  more prejudicial and tribal.

I seriously doubt the morons carrying tiki torches and screaming racial and religious insults were in Charlottesville to express disapproval of removing a statue.  They were there to foment trouble and express hatred.  And yes there were those with an opposing viewpoint that felt it was important to take a stand and physically confront the rabble of white supremacists.  Certainly that is regrettable.  But to say there was a moral equivalency between the two groups, as did our ignorant, unhinged president, is absurd.  One side was spewing racial and religious hatred and the other had members among it that became lamentably but understandably incensed enough to react.

Perhaps people should take some time off from their busy programs of harassment and give serious thought to role reversal.  Envision a time gone by where your white ancestors were abducted from a far away land, chained together and stuffed on slave ships for a couple of months, forced to labor in a foreign country of ruling blacks, and were whipped, raped, mutilated, hung and abused in every way imaginable,   Of course there were no legal repercussions for any of the atrocities because slaves were considered property and in the eyes of a slave holder had little connection to humanity.  And lets say after a bit of time a large segment of the black population decided there should be an end to all the cruelty, but another segment of the black population decided it was not about to relinquish its peculiar institution of inhumane conduct and thus raised an army that initiated a treasonous war with the intension of governmental separation.  Then that war took the lives of over a half million of the country’s black men, but as horrible as it was, at least it once and for all put an end to the practice of white enslavement.  And imagine that even though slavery was officially abolished, a good percentage of blacks maintained an erroneous sense of superiority over the white race, accompanied with practices of intimidation, and inaugurating upon it one indignity after another.  You can bet as time moved along the white population would not appreciate seeing any kind of reminder about that scandalous past.

To those legitimately  participating in this demonstration or any other for sentimental or historical reasons and think it is important to save these statues, personally I would not argue your point.   Save all those statues of Confederate soldiers, but put them in museums all around the county and attach to each a narrative that explains what the Confederate South in America stood for, which was slavery, intolerance, and an appalling example of man’s inhumanity towards his fellow man.  It is indeed important to save history, but it is just as important to remember it.

 

 

 

 

Shelter

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?!  Autumn is close approaching, so it’s that time of year you know.  But are you ready for some FALLOUT?!  Armageddon is just around the bend, so you might want to prepare.  Have you stocked up on bottled water?  How about your basement?  You could be living down there for a bit, so you should think about making it comfortable.  I wouldn’t delay sealing off your basement  windows much longer.   Home Depot is already running out of cinder-block.  Damn I just thought of something.  I don’t have any kind of generator.  It’s football season for Pete sakes. I simply must have ESPN access.  I know for a fact the NFL is not about to let a little nuclear attack interrupt its cash flow.   My big screen is in the basement at least, so I’m in good shape there.  But if my only electric power source is a gas- fired generator, do I have to step outside to fill it up?  Maybe I can trick my wife into taking care of that.

What else should I get?  Of course I need some snacks.  I really like those lime chips.  I want to reserve all my generator output for my TV, so I probably can’t afford the power drain of a refrigerator.  It would be nice to have ice for my scotch, but there are worse things.  Of course I have plenty of scotch on hand.  Geezuz I hope you’re not one of those dumb bastards that’s never prepared for a scotch emergency.  I have a shower in my basement, but I have no idea how long I’ll have running water, so my guess is it could get kind of stinky down there.  Do you think two cases of Febreze will do?  And while I’m on the subject of stink, what about taking a dump?  How do you handle that?  Sure I have a toilet in my basement, but again it’s bound to stop flushing at some point.  I think what is commonly recommended is a bunch of buckets.  So I’ll get some of those. But at some point you have to empty them, right?  Son of a bitch!  I suppose I’ll have to be the one to quick-step outside and take care of that.  It’s just fair.  My wife handles the generator and I take care of the squat buckets.  If you know anything about marriage, a stable one is all about compromise.  Please don’t let my neighbor know I’ll be  emptying my buckets over the fence.

The bad thing is there won’t be football on all the time, so I need some other form of entertainment. My wife and I aren’t terribly fond of card games.  But we both really enjoy reading.  At least we have plenty of books.  It would be nice if the two dip shits that seem intent on doing all they can to get us into this mess were so inclined An Incurious President

Relativity

I’m 70 years old today!.  Everyone says that’s just impossible, that I don’t look a day over 50.  OK.  It’s Trump-speak.  Alternative fact. The word Everyone should be more like “Everyone,” in quotes, which would then more accurately qualify the statement to include only those enduring nuclear cataracts and acquaintances afflicted with insufferable niceness.  But still, looks aren’t everything.  Sure I’m losing hair in areas desired and growing it in places that seem counter evolutionary.  And the leathered skin on the backs of my hands has all the look of a Slinky in motion whenever I rotate a wrist.  I’m considering an upgrade from bifocals to tris as well as another new knee, and what the fuck is that little lump doing on the inside of my calf.  But guess what?  My gut might be expanding, but so is my brain capacity.  I know some shit.  Inside my head is a treasure trove of facts and ideas straining to escape. After 70 years of storage, it’s difficult to contain it all.

Contemplating on Lake Tipsy

For instance, did you know a ten gallon hat will only hold 3/4 of a gallon.  Is that a bunch of shit or what?  And during your lifetime you will create enough saliva to fill a couple of good-sized swimming pools.  That means if you hang around your local western wear store for a few days you could fill up one of those ten gallon hats.  Serves those bastards right for dicking us over for so many years.

I Have an Axe & Know How to Use It

King Henry VIII slept with a gigantic axe beside him. Maybe you don’t find that surprising since the guy was known to have ended a marriage or two by utilizing the instrument.  You would think any of his wives that still had their heads attached would have considered the practice a bit odd though.  But I bet you didn’t  know I sleep with an axe too.  Well, not all the time.  Just when I’m camping.  And I guess you wouldn’t call it gigantic.  It’s my camping hatchet.  So far my wife hasn’t voiced any concerns. Another thing.  Besides the hatchet on one side of my bedroll, I sleep with an ice pick on the other.  Consider this knowledge fair warning if you have intentions of sneaking up on me in the middle of the night.

As you might have guessed  I’m very much an outdoorsy kind of guy, so I know a lot of stuff about the animal kingdom too.  Billy goats urinate on their heads, and birds don’t urinate at all.  A flock of crows is not called a flock.  It is called a “murder.”  Look it up if you don’t believe me. Every human spends a half hour as a single cell, thus we are basically related to early protists like amoeba.  Moving up slightly on the evolutionary ladder are the multi cellular Coelenterates which  encompasses the animal phyla Cnidaria, although the validity of this classification is disputed since the relationship with it and the Ctenophora is not as distinct as once thought.  But all you really need to know about Coelenterates is since they use their solitary orifice as both a mouth and anus, it has been determined it is from this phyla from which Donald Trump has descended.

I know a lot of science too, and not just piddly stuff.  I’m talking about complicated shit, like relativity.  E=mc2 my friend.  If I wanted I could explain this to you, but it took Einstein himself  an entire day to explain it to a bunch of smarty pants physicists back in 1905, and I haven’t got all day.  To make it simple for you I’ve come up with my own postulation about relativity. Observe the following:

       where R represents basic relativity, meaning relatives of the in-law dimension, god I hope you know what the two parallel lines mean,   in this case means a regular pie that you might eat, not that math equivalent of 3.14, (although coincidentally that was the number of pies my uncle Ralph ate years ago at the church pie-eating contest right before he collapsed with a cholesterol induced myocardial infarction)  and of course even you can figure out what a sad faced emoji represents.

Since they likely have no clear understanding of the physical laws and adaptations required in their new world order, I usually take a moment to explain my theory to any incoming fellow in-law. The other day I sat down and did just that with the most recent in-law addition, Steve, and though his mind tends to wander on occasion I think he finally has a decent grasp of how the whole thing works.  In it’s simplest terms, what the equation postulates is that at any point in time, there exists the probability of an in-law of any dimension shoving a pie in your face.  I derived my theory back in 2002 at the Old Mill laboratory on Green Lake MN.  That’s when my sister-in-law Kim smeared my face with a piece of chocolate cake.  Since this is my theory, I have  taken the liberty to incorporate both pie and cake into the symbol  .  If you feel there are other variables that should be included in my pie/cake symbol, let me know and maybe we can work something out.  I heard Nikki once threw a worm at my fellow brother-in-law Jim in the fishing boat, but it never hit him in the face, so obviously that would never survive scientific scrutiny.

The best thing about my theory is there is an applicable companion one that  I call the Inverse Theory of Relativity.  It is represented by this equation:

     where every variable is the same as it is in my Regular Theory of Relativity, except that the sad faced emoji is replaced with a happy faced emoji  because it is my face when I blasted Kim’s face with piece of chocolate cake in 2012 at the Long Climb House on Green Lake.  You can not help but conclude from both of my theories there seems to be some kind of evolutionary displacement of pie by cake going on in the universe.  I don’t know for sure if this is related to climate change, but rest assured I intend to get to the bottom of it all.  I have deep affection for pie and would hate to see anything bad happen to it.

No researching slouch himself, here you see my nephew neck deep in some scientific inquiry of his own on the beach at Green Lake.

As you can see I’m a pretty deep thinker and obviously don’t just sit around doing nothing.  Ok I do take a nap daily but that’s because there’s a lot of neuro-electrical activity going on and the generator has to be recharged.  I realize there’s a good chance you might not be so equipped, so you probably don’t  understand.  If you ever want to achieve my level of intelligence by the time you are 70, it might be a good idea if you stop wasting your time reading shit like this and open up a book* for a change. Trust me it’s not going to kill you.

In parting, let me just say if you leave everything to the last minute…it will only take a minute.  And worms taste like fried bacon.

*Should you be interested in other compelling information like this, buy my book “Fishing with Bobby and Mike” you cheap bastard.  Geezus you’ve got Amazon Prime by now don’t you?

 

Our Most Supreme Scout Master Has Cerebral Melt-Down

Is this guy for real?  Every time I think Trump can not possibly be any more shallow, he finds another way to drain the pond.  This son of a bitch is absolutely nuts.  Seriously.  There is something wrong with a person who is so completely absorbed with himself.  And nothing gives him a boner like a crowd of cooperative people, his most recent mark being a huge gathering of teen age boy scouts attending a Jamboree.   Of course none of them can even vote, but that didn’t stop our megalomaniacal president  from turning the event into one of his ego-stroking campaign orgies.  I think he was even surprised by the chorus of jeers and cheers he got whenever he pulled something from his bag of trigger words and phrases.  It is truly a sad day in America when the president of the United States thinks manipulating a group of pubescent boys into a chanting frenzy by denigrating a predecessor is setting an appropriate example of patriotism.  It’s the Boy Scouts of America!  They are supposed to be out there promoting God, country, and civic duty, but president shit-for-brains just could not resist the temptation to provoke the impressionable group into giving him one of his adulatory orgasms and in the process humiliate them and the entire organization.  The man is absolute pond-scum.  And that also goes for the ass-kissing members of his cabinet standing right behind him and encouraging him with their shit-eating grins.

I was a boy scout, loved being a part of it and learned a lot from participating.  Fortunately I was never subjected to any maniacal  rantings by a flakey adult.  The organization has a law.  It begins “A scout is:” and after that is just twelve words. Here they are: Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, reverent.  It might be smart if the scout leaders of each troop in attendance do some recon when they get home and suggest the youngsters do their best to purge their brains of the self-angrandizing and incendiary rhetoric uttered by Trump at this Jamboree.  It should be easy to make their point.  Do you see any of these attributes in Donald Trump?  Maybe “clean,” but only because he is a paranoid germaphobe.  If you could be prosecuted for violating the Boy Scout Law, Trump would get a life sentence in a federal prison.

I wonder what is upcoming on the Trump quasi campaign trail?  If he sees a huge gathering of migratory geese resting along a river bank while he is flying in Air Force One, he’s likely to instruct the pilot to land so he can go tell his feathered friends what a smashing victory he had in Wisconsin.  I heard there is a national Girl Scout conference scheduled in a few months, and boy would he love to weasel in a speaking invite there.  Mom’s, if you have even the slightest inclination that might happen, and any knowledge at all of previous Trump behavior towards young women,  you might want to consider tagging along on this one.  Of course you must be ever vigilant lest you be grabbed yourself.

 

 

On Putin and Parenting

Well here we go again.  From all appearances it seems Donald Trump Jr just pulled off the bone-head move of the political decade and once again the resulting stink from a disjointed White House has all of us anti-Trumpers giddy with anticipation.  Surely this is finally going to motivate any  principled Republican in congress to admit enough is enough.  But I’ve learned not to get my hopes up.  In fact, hang onto your hats folks because on the horizon will be some of the most creatively entertaining political spin Conway, Spicer, and Huckabee Sanders have ever produced.  And remarkably our elected sycophants will continue to enable a man who has no business in the Oval Office.

Ooopsie!

Politics has become so polarized in this country this is where we have landed.  Wave after wave of alarming events pound the shoreline of our consciousness until rock solid principles of democracy and decency are pulverized into grains of indifference.  Instead of considering Junior’s behavior disturbing, defenders are treating it as if it was little more than a glass of spilled milk.  Just a simple mistake by a neophyte.  “Most people would take that meeting” says the President of the United States.

What in the hell have we become?  Put the idiocy and collusion surrounding this episode aside for a moment and just look at the computer hacking aspects.   What keeps getting lost every time one of these mind-bending stories surfaces is the fact there was Russian interference in our election process.  Geezuz H the country has been attacked and this administration is perfectly happy doing nothing about it.  The internet corruption that went on here is not much less frightening than the danger posed by the nut job in North Korea.  You could say what Russia managed to get away with so far is cyber sniper fire.  Besides fomenting fake stories on the internet, they hacked the election system computers in 21 states.  What’s to stop them from pushing the envelope.  It is not out of the realm of possibility that with the tapping of a few keystrokes they could accomplish the near equivalent of a nuclear missile strike- disabling a huge section of our electrical power grid.  They already have their foot in the door  Russia hacks U.S. Nuclear Power Plant  The results would be very similar to a nuclear missile attack. If you are interested in some shit-scary observation about this, read Ted Koppel’s book “Lights Out.”  

Ask the county what their number one fear is and half will say terrorism. Maybe you think it’s a stretch to say that election tampering by an adversarial foreign government is terrorism, but should all the lights go out and hospital ventilators stop functioning and gas pumps quit working, you might concede early intervention might have been helpful.   We know Russia meddled in our democratic process.  The point I am trying to make is we need to direct our  focus on the larger issue.  The reason all these investigations are going on is it is extremely important we find out if any American citizens were involved because they are either guilty of obstruction of Justice or possibly treason, or stunning and dangerous ignorance, all of which  might well serve to accelerate a more heinous foreign agenda. Robert Mueller is likely to expose Trump’s shifty business practices as well, especially if tax returns are subpoenaed, but the president has no one to blame but himself for that investigation.  A cyber war catastrophe in this country is just as likely to occur as a nuclear one.  Why so many people have chosen to regard this Russian intrusion with casual indifference is beyond me.

Most people would take that meeting?  Most people in the Trump family maybe.  Most normal people would contact the authorities.

I can not help thinking  how we have just circled back to the very beginning.  Of course before Trump got elected we had no inkling of how he would govern. Right after he became president I think the majority of us thought the guy should at least be given a chance.  That did not last long in my case.  If you are like me and have nothing better to do than sit on your ass all day, see my previous blog  https://www.asiteforsoreguys.com/gaslighting  .  As time has progressed, about the only consistent thing we are seeing from this administration is what a total clusterfuck it is.  Our democracy is certainly being put to the test.  Undoubtedly it will survive this shit-storm, but if congress is to get anything of substance accomplished its members had better pull their collective heads out of their asses and mitigate the damage.  Get a spine and tell the president he needs to quit deflecting, take responsibility, and start cooperating.  Hopefully Trump’s recent veiled threat against Robert Mueller if he investigates the president’s family business ties will raise your democratic hackles.

However, what we do know now that we knew from the very beginning of the campaign season is how bereft of moral character Donald Trump Sr. is.  Unfortunately it seems obvious what Senior considers good parenting is to make sure the polarity of Junior’s moral compass is as discharged as his is.  “It must be magic to raise children in a household where probity has no meaning.”  That’s a perfect quote from the editorial page of a Cincinnati newspaper.  What Donald Jr. did by biting on the bait offered by Rob Goldstone was reprehensibly wrong, plain and simple.  So comically ironic is the fact that Junior, in the process of defending himself on this very issue,  only made things worse by telling yet another blatant lie- on Sean Hannity’s show no less.   He can attempt to put any spin he wants on all of this, and god knows he’s been out there twirling his best, but it does not matter.  It is obvious the orange does not fall far from the tree.

I know Trump’s most entrenched supporters will believe this is acceptable behavior, that to them the end justifies any kind of means, and the staunchest congressional Republicans will keep deflecting.  But you can not defend the indefensible.  The “family values” plank of the Republican party platform was removed and shoved through a wood chipper the minute it accepted Donald Trump as its candidate.  The man always was and will continue to be a completely amoral narcissist, a whining liar, and as we are now witnessing,  an incompetent leader.  He believes his suspect values are the only proper ones and obviously those are the ones he has instilled in his children.   Every member of congress has  intrusive knowledge of this conduct on a day to day basis.  Maybe the general public has become numb to it. But congressional members have no excuse.  They are directly exposed, and by continuing to enable this president they are displaying a shameful example to their own children.

“Botched collusion is still collusion.”  Charles Krauthammer, syndicated columnist, Washington Post

“Russia is the one country that could physically destroy America,”  Steven Pifer, Former U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine

“Release your tax returns Mr. Twitterbitch,”  me and 224 million Americans.

 

 

Anniversary

I’m up on my roof.  I’m here because this is where my wife sent me.   She noticed some debris had collected between two gables and was sure I was just the one who could take care of that problem.  Between those two gables is a trapezoidal section covered with flashing and is fairly flat, so it is a natural staging area for fallen twigs and leaves to rest.  I am always hopeful  Mother Nature  will sweep them away with a succession of her bouts of stormy temper before my wife notices them.  She is a stickler for detail.  She’s not obsessive-compulsive or anything.  It’s just that there are some particular things that she feels important for appearances sake.  If the pleat of  a bed skirt is not lying flat, a throw pillow out of place, or there are dead bugs inside the opaque cover of an outdoor light fixture, it will get her attention.  And sometimes her concerns eventually mean more work for me.  Unfortunately one of those times is right now because the proper weather patterns never materialized to save me from this death-defying mission.

My work is done.  I managed to knock down all the twigs and leaves without participating  in their decent. Since the incline is minimal in this spot, I feel safe though.  Actually it’s kind of cool here.  I can stand, or I can sit down and rest my ass on the steeper part of the roof and let my mind wonder reflectively, or better yet, scan the neighborhood and mentally make fun of people I see walking around.  You get a different perspective up here.  I have a six foot fence that surrounds most of my back yard, and naturally that inhibits a lot of human interaction.  And that’s the whole point of a six foot fence really.   I don’t care to know your business, and I sure as hell don’t want you nosing around in mine.  Geez, there’s my next door neighbor strutting around without a shirt on again.  My wife hates that.  Usually there’s an accompanying  episode or two of plumber’s crack she feels she has do endure.  I keep telling her she doesn’t have to look at it. Change the channel for Pete’s sake.  But my wife was raised with a strong sense of right and wrong, and coursing  through all of it is a very elevated expectation of common decency.

Man I didn’t realize how nice the neighbor’s yard is behind me.  It used to be little more than a stark testament to what man can accomplish when he completely gives up on ambition- discarded containers and tires strewn throughout the yard, piles of dog shit on the patio, and every once in awhile the smell of a dead animal rotting away in the total concealment of weeds that were knee-high.  That new guy really got the place in shape.  Next to him lives a short, chubby guy who I have been told is an ambulance chasing  attorney and is a total asshole.  That’s the story circulating in the neighborhood anyway.  He has some great power tools though.  He’s always firing something up and waking me from my  afternoon nap. That strikes my wife as being inconsiderate.  If there is one word to describe my wife it’s considerate.  Champion of the underdog.  God don’t get her started on the plight of the Native American, unless you’re game for a rousing psychological bitch slapping.

Then right next to the attorney is-  you know I don’t know who lives there.  But next to that house live the Wamplers.  The boys are a handful and I can’t say I appreciate all the discharged bottle rockets I find in my backyard during the first week of every July.  Old man Wampler is a character though.  He is a neighborhood philosopher of sorts, likes to hand out unsolicited advice, and will surprise with a folksy saying every once in awhile.  One time when he was walking by my house we got engaged in a conversation about vacations we have taken and he made a point of emphasizing how important it was to take one by stating, “No matter what, once every year I pack up all my kids that aren’t in jail and just head out of town.”  That’s a sentiment that somehow just sticks with you.     

   Little Bobby Wampler Pictured Here the Day After Last Year’s Wampler 4th of July Celebration

Well enough of the contemplation.  It’s time to think about getting off of my roof.  Damn I forgot about this part.  At some point I have to scoot backwards to get onto my ladder.  If you think that’s easy, well eat shit.  Except for the section I was resting on, my roof is a series of 45 degree pitches.  God I hate this.  My wife would calm me down if she were up here.  I tend to get all panicky if I’m not reasonably certain of an outcome.  But my wife is forever the optimist, her cup always half full, although this Trump business is wearing on her a bit. It’s almost refreshing to hear her complain about something.  I love that woman.  Holy shit! You know what I just remembered?  It’s my wedding anniversary.

Ordinarily I’m not the romantic type.  I can safely say no one who knows me would argue that point.  I don’t mean to sound like I’m proud of it or anything.  It’s just the way I am.  I suppose I could put more effort into that factor of the relationship equation.  But through the years I’ve managed to convince my wife all  holidays are just a capitalistic scam and if we are smart we should always forgo the pretentiousness.  Basically my feeling is neither of us should have to explain ourselves.  We know how we feel.  For Pete’s sake we’ve put up with each other for 46 years so obviously we are not lacking in communications skills.

That’s me.  Is that wrong?  Right now I’m beginning to think so.  It’s not that I don’t appreciate my wife.  She is a remarkable woman. She’s thoughtful, bright, loving, generous, patient, and holy cow is she a thorough housekeeper.  Very methodical.  And organized.  How did I get so lucky.  Now I kind of feel like a dick.  I don’t know what I’d do without her.

    My Wife is a Housekeeping Wizard

Sometimes we banter about who will die first.  If that topic comes up, it’s usually because we have just reflected on the genetic background of our respective families.  Since my mother is 98 and remarkably spry, we inevitably conclude that I would be the winner.  That’s if you believe there is victory in living longer.  But in fact I would be the loser in our situation.  I have to go out first.  I can’t figure out that damn dishwasher.  And the washing machine?  Just forget about it.  All those cycles and nobs and settings.  Bunch of unnecessary  manufacturer’s  hubris if you ask me.  It might end for me in a few minutes if I and my aluminum ladder make contact with those power lines attached to my house.  With my luck though the only thing I’d take down would be the cable TV service. Then I’d be lying in bed all crippled up without any television.  That would really suck.

Shit I hate being up here.  If I make it back to earth I swear I’ll turn over a new leaf.  I’m going to hop in my car and go get my wife an anniversary card, one that is overflowing with syrupy romanticism.  And a present too.  I think she’d really enjoy a box of Swiffers.   I don’t know what they are, but she is always raving about them.

So, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SWEATHEART!  I LOVE YOU VERY, VERY MUCH. Now please call the fire department and see if they can send someone to get me down from here.

Also, if you believe I’m up here on this roof with my lap top you’re kind of a dumb shit.  If you can’t figure out how I wrote this you’ll have to go ask someone who is a little more perceptive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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