Anyone questioning the integrity of the 45th President of the United States might be feeling a little ashamed of themselves after observing his recent interview with Fox News’s Laura Ingraham.  When asked by Ms. Ingraham if he would block the testimony of former national security advisor John Bolton by declaring executive privilege, President Trump righteously professed that since he has never done anything wrong in his entire life he would be perfectly comfortable allowing any testimony, except for one thing- the impact that would have on future presidents.  The Commander in Chief said that furthermore he would be absolutely delighted to have Mick Mulvaney and Mike Pompeo or anyone else testify for that matter, but “there are things you can’t do from the standpoint of executive privilege,” the president insisted.

To further explain the president’s assertion later in the day, presidential spokesperson Kellyanne Conway said “You can’t have people sitting there in front of other people and blabbing away about special secret stuff.  Everyone knows what a beacon of integrity the president is, and the country should appreciate the extraordinary sacrifice he is making to protect the responsibilities of the executive branch in the future.  Of course he has nothing to hide, but what about the next president.  What if sometime we don’t have enough nice, simple people around who believe everything the president says and believe he can do anything he wants?  What would happen then?  What if a future president didn’t have the foresight to stow away personal transcripts in a secret server.  And what if all of a sudden a president had to reveal his tax return information? Then where would this country be?   President Trump has a lot to lose by preventing the  people around him from testifying and exonerating him.  They know what an impeccably  moral and  principled man he is and  many of them know all about the corruption going on everywhere, er, in the Ukraine of course, but there he is, courageously making this magnanimous, selfless gesture, risking groundless suspicion of his unblemished character and honorable intentions in order to defend this great country of ours.  That’s  just the kind of righteous, noble and patriotic man he is. Any doubt about the courageous sincerity of the president is discordant fiction being spread by the fake news.  Those people need to wise up.”

Devoted Trump supporter and rabid rally attendee Bud Mudd couldn’t agree more.  “I’ve traveled to all parts of the country just to hear President Trump talk the truth as I understand it, and he has never failed to deliver.  If you go to one of his rallies you can just sense his honest, saintly goodness and know right off he will always tell the truth.  He knows just the kind of straight talk the crowd wants to hear. You can’t blame him for using that privilege of executive obstruction thing.  Shoot I wouldn’t want just anybody to find out about some of the stuff I did. Not that he’s done anything wrong  but he’s got to protect those presidents coming up.  Hell I bet  Don Junior is as good as any for that job, and so ya, it would be smart to have some protection for a kid like that.  If he wants to go off shooting elephants and tigers  that’s his business.”